ESPN.com - Doggone it

ESPN.com: Page 2

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Updated: August 22, 4:03 PM ET
Doggone it

From the Page 2 mailbag

A lot of hounds are driving Major League Baseball these days, but we still weren't sure what this encounter was all about.

So, we let the dogs out and asked our readers to explain why Mets manager Bobby Valentine has been hanging out with these Lassies. Here's the best of the nearly 2,800 responses we received:

Unable to motivate Mo Vaughn or Robbie Alomar, Bobby tries to teach some other old dogs a new trick.
Wayne Trucks
Homewood, Ala.

Meet the Mutts, greet the Mutts.
Head for the park, and beat the Mutts.
Neon lights and airplanes out at Shea,
The season was over at the end of May.
These poor Mutts are really taking a fall,
Only three more weeks till the start of football!
Meet the Mutts, greet the Mutts.
Head for the park and beat the Mutts.
Viral Gandhi
Williamstown, Mass.

"Ahhhh ... nothing like the dog days of summer, eh pooches? I swear if this losing streak goes any further, these fans are going to have me neutered faster than you can say, "heartworm."
James A. Patry
Berlin, N.H.

"What's that, Lassie? ... Mo Vaughn's down? He's fallen where? ... At the Sizzler! ... It was the buffet?? ... Quick girl, go get Timmy!"
Brian Kertson
Sammamish, Wash.

Bobby and the Lassies share a laugh after getting the better end of the deal involving Jeromy Burnitz and a year's supply of Purina.
Brian
Hamden, Conn.

"Oh, I've had to put up with bad baseball all season ... throw me a frickin' bone here!"
David Lucier
Gainesville, Fla.

Mets manager Bobby Valentine wails in agony as Lassie steps abruptly on his "Mr. Met."
Eric Harms
Clifton, N.J.

I was going to make a wisecrack about Valentine chatting with Selig and Fehr, but why knock the collie like that?
Nick
Sacramento, Calif.

"Hmmm. I knew Phillips had it in for me ... this might be the only double play combo worse then Roberto Alomar and Rey Ordonez. But, I guess it's worth a shot ... at least they are natural blondes unlike half my guys."
Joe Erdman
Albany, N.Y.

Collie 1: "So wait, who wants a luxury tax? The players or the owners?"

Valentine: "Ahhh! No more! I don't even know anymore!!"

Collie 2: "Ughh, all this talk makes me wanna take a dump in Bud Selig's living room."

Baseball fans across the country: "Yeah. Us too."
Gregg L.
Hasbrouck Heights, N.J.

What do ya think, girls? Will three square bowls of Puppy Chow per day help Mo Vaughn slim down? I hear that's what the Yankees feed Jason Giambi.
Ed W.
Philadelphia

Bobby V hooks up with two of the better looking females in recent crowds at Shea.
Matt McGovern
New Brighton, Minn.

Go figure. He goes to a dog show instead of calling a closed-door meeting in the clubhouse. No wonder they have lost 11 straight home games.
John Grady
California City

Bobby seeks expert consultation on proper mouth-to-muzzle resuscitation to be administered immediately on his "dying dogs."
Susan M. Ward
Rohnert Park, Calif.

"What's that Lassie? Donald Fehr's trapped in the old mine shaft? ... It's about damn time."
John
Austin, Texas

Mets' alpha male convenes with the big dogs of the Puppy Chow organization.
Michael McDonnell
Baltimore

When off-duty, Bobby V. likes to hang with his bitches.
Nick Abstoss
Greenwich, Conn.

"What's that Lassie ... tossed again? Go fetch my mustache girl, go get it!"
Mike
Daytona Beach, Fla.

Bobby has decided that since he and baseball will soon be in the doghouse, he might as well get acclimated to the cuisine.
B.Q.
Orange County, Calif.

And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: New York Mets manager Bobby Valentine, left, plays with his two dogs, "Beamer" and "Tommy," right, on Aug. 13 in New York's Times Square. The "Puppy Chow Patrol" was in New York to promote responsible pet adoption. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, HO)