ESPN.com - A wedding story

ESPN.com: Page 2

Tuesday, March 4, 2003
A wedding story

By Andrew and Brian Kamenetzky
Special to Page 2

The sports world was shocked by the recent revelation that former sweethearts Sergei Fedorov and Anna Kournikova were in fact married for a brief spell.

What went wrong? You be the judge as Page 2 gives you the 411 straight from the mind of the happy couple. Come along as we follow the pair from their first day of marital bliss to their untimely demise.

Dear Diary,
Today we did it. Sergei and I are finally married. I looked so pretty. I mean, absolutely drop-dead, heart-stoppingly pretty. Sergei looked nice, too. I'm pretty sure he did. I don't really remember him being there, actually. But I looked wonderful. It's a shame we had to keep the wedding a secret. I'm certain I could get a deal from adidas to endorse a prototype of my low-cut lycra wedding dress. Oh, well. We leave for Greece and the honeymoon next week. I think the finals of my next tourney are actually in the same week as the honeymoon. But I'm not really worried.
Love, Anna.

Dear Diary,

It's official. I am married to the hottest chick on the planet. And I'm not just saying that because she's my bride, mind you. This is according to the folks at all her websites. Even the unofficial ones. It's kind of weird keeping the whole thing a secret, but Anna says Hingis is all over any guy she knows is really off the market. What a tramp! Anyway, can't wait to finally consummate the relationship?. Oh, I kill me, diary.
Later, Sergei.

Dear Diary,
It has been a couple weeks since the honeymoon. It's funny how the relationship seems so much different now that I'm making an effort to be around Sergei more than just for paparazzi photos. Being a wife is a real adjustment. Having my assistants run errands for two can be exhausting. And I'm getting frustrated with Sergei demanding I devote "equal time" toward him. He knew going into this that I'm a career woman, first. Therefore, fashion has to remain priority one. And tennis is up there, too. But the important thing is, I'm Mrs. Anna Kournikova. I used to be "Ms."
Love, Anna.

Dear Diary,
Well, a week and a half under my belt, and the little woman and I are still hanging tough. I haven't seen her since the honeymoon, but we're really starting to get to know each other. She sent an e-mail from her shoot and signed it with her middle name. It's like we know every page of the books of each other's lives. I'm a little concerned that distance could challenge the relationship, but every time I check out that butt, I'm reminded of what makes love go 'round.
Later, Sergei.

Dear Diary,

I've officially been married 30 days. I'm really starting to stress out, like I made a mistake. But Sergei and I had a wonderful lunch with Drew Barrymore and Tom Green. Tonight is dinner with J-Lo and Chris something or other. It's inspiring to surround ourselves with other young people in perfect relationships. Plus, he goes on the road again tomorrow, thank God. I could use the break.
Love, Anna

Dear Diary,
Had lunch with some weird Canadian guy who kept telling me, "I got fingered." Anna says he's famous. I'll take her word for it.
Later, Sergei

Dear Diary,
Sergei and I had our first argument tonight. He thinks that the second season of "Survivor" was more compelling than this season. Our love seemed deep, but sometimes I wonder if we're just too darned different. Assuming I did any, these problems could really distract me from my tournament preparation. Oh well, time to watch my Panthers locker room webcam.
Love, Anna

Dear Diary,
I sense some distance between me and Anna. For one thing, she has totally lost interest in watching the Red Wings play. I don't get it. We're always one of the best teams in hockey, but for a while, all she wanted to do was watch Panthers games! Sure, that Roberto Luongo is an exciting young goalie with a great glove, but the Panthers? Then, all at once, Anna decides she's going to watch nothing but Rangers games. Talk about a fair weather fan. Go figure.
Peace, Sergei

Dear Diary,

I'm just about at the end of my rope. Sergei's getting all possessive during my "mirror" time. He gets plenty of enough attention from everyone else by being with me. Isn't that enough? It's so depressing. I need to cheer up. I think I'll buy that new Enrique Iglesias CD at the mall.
Love, Anna

Dear Diary,
Went over to Carol (Alt) and Alexei (Yashin)'s place last night to play Pictionary. Good lord, Anna is dead weight. Yeah, she's got a body built for drawing, but when it's crunch time, she claimed that she had never seen the object she was supposed to draw. C'mon! Who doesn't know what the championship trophy at Wimbledon looks like? And what's up with her voting for the same guy over and over on TRL every day? I'm getting pretty sick of all this.
Peace, Sergei

Dear Diary,
Well, it's official. Sergei and I are divorced. Doesn't matter. I don't really have time for a marriage. I'm too busy with this Penthouse lawsuit. It does make me wonder how long it will be before I have to pose nude to get anyone to care about me. If I ever find out who called the magazine and said that chick was me, I'll kill him.
Love, Anna

Dear Diary,
Revenge is sweeter than a hat trick.
Later, Sergei