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| In St. Louis, fans are crazy about the Cardinals, and especially crazy about Albert Pujols. |
| MIGHTY MISSISSIP TRIP | |
| Here's a breakown of Jim Caple's journey down the Mighty Mississippi:
Miles: 110 (Hannibal to St. Louis) Total Miles: 994 Moving violations: 0 Hours driving: 2 Diet Pepsi: 2 units Road kill: 1 rabbit, 1 squirrel, 1 deer. Weather: Continued hot and sunny in the upper 80s. Gas price per gallon: $1.64. Huckleberry Finn tape: In an extraordinary coincidence seldom seen outside 19th century literature, Huck meets up with Tom Sawyer on the lower Mississippi, and after an elaborately amusing and thoroughly unnecessary scheme to rescue Jim, Tom reveals that Jim has already been freed. Miles to go: 1,100 (approx.) |
| ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: GRACELAND | |
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. -- After touring Graceland, I can say two things about Elvis. He had awful taste in decorating and he was a big sports fan.
Green shag carpet. White ostrich pillows. A red velvet sofa. A white fur bed spread. A lamp covered in seashells. Mirrors everywhere. You can excuse some of the furniture and design as the taste of the times, but c'mon. The Jungle Room? His interior decorator must have been the parent of Doug from "Trading Spaces."
What interested me most on the tour were the sports items. "I like rugged sports -- as a man," Elvis says in a taped interview on the tour. "Boxing, football, karate, things like that.''
It shows. Elvis' karate outfit is on display, as are his black belts. So is the Elvis football uniform, complete with hip pants, that he used to wear while playing weekend pickup games with his entourage. Among Elvis' books on display are the Bible, Kahil Gibran's "The Prophet," "Siddartha," "Gods From Outer Space," "The Complete Book of Karate" and "The Illustrated History of Pro Football."
Most interesting of all, though, is the racquetball room where Elvis played that fateful day. Steve Rushin wrote in "Road Swing" that when he visited Graceland, the tour guide strongly implied it was overexertion from the racquetball game that killed Elvis, not the drug overdose.
That's just silly. Everyone knows racquetball didn't kill Elvis. It couldn't have.
He isn't dead. --Jim Caple |