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Wednesday, November 5, 2003
Page 2 Quickie: Nov. 4, 2003

The Lead Item
Two Words For You:

At tonight's "Rock the Vote" Gen Y forum for Democratic Presidential candidates, would someone please ask: "Let's get to the important issues: How would you fix health care the NFL overtime system?"

And the best candidate would answer: If the team with the ball first scores, the other team gets one possession to tie or win. (But everyone better be prepared for a lot more OT ties.)

By the way, if your state is holding elections, go vote, for crying out loud.

Peyton's Problem
It's no Kobe trial, but Peyton Manning will have to defend himself next spring against a defamation lawsuit, stemming from an allegation he made in his autobiography about a Tennessee trainer.

She struck back with not just the suit, but embarrassing claims during deposition that Manning put his rear literally in her face, which will undoubtedly make him the butt of quite a few jokes. Wonder if The Globe will publish any photos of that?

BCS Outlook
Why will Miami and Texas join the big-league champs in the four BCS bowls? Because in BCS vocab, "At-Large" is shorthand for "Who brings the biggest money (tickets, fans, TV ratings) to the table?" (They should call it "At-Largesse.")

Save the Crunk!
Lamenting the demise of "crunk": From cool regional slang and hip music genre to near-parody from overexposure.

The final blow is the "scandal" from Sunday's Falcons halftime show involving crunk artists who possibly cursed during their act. Please: The show was the shoddy game's highlight.

For the love of crunk! Someone redirect the morality police's efforts to something a little more worthwhile, like how the Falcons are bilking their paying customers this season.

Raiders: Yikes
Starting quarterback: Rick Mirer.

Wagner to Phillies
Considering that three of the four LCS teams had sub-par closers, you could argue that new Phillie Billy Wagner's acquisition means little in the grand scheme of, say, winning a title.

And don't buy the Astros' weepy tale of financial hardship: No surprise if Houston is dumping salaries and hoarding money to make a run at pricey free-agent super-starter and Houston resident Andy Pettitte.

White Sox Hire Guillen
"Fun first, then you win": Gotta love new White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen's philosophy. How does it compare to other management styles?

"Fear first, then you win!" (G. Steinbrenner)
"Fatherly first, then you win." (J. McKeon)
"Foul-ball first, then you win?" (D. Baker)

Yankees Hire Mattingly
In hiring Don Mattingly to be their new hitting coach, the Yankees successfully bridge the pre-dynasty tradition of No Titles to their post-dynasty tradition of No Titles.

Pop Culture Files
Lust-See TV: Entertainment TV gives teens quality sex ed*, a new study shows.

* - When discussed afterward with a parent. (Yes, because there's nothing awkward about 15-year-old guys turning to their moms and saying "Let's talk about how Jennifer Aniston just portrayed the Wild Thing.")