Wednesday, November 5, 2003
Page 2 Quickie: Nov. 4, 2003
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
At tonight's "Rock the Vote" Gen Y
forum for Democratic Presidential candidates, would
someone please ask: "Let's get to the important
issues: How would you fix
the NFL overtime system?"
And the best candidate would answer: If the
team with the ball first scores, the other team gets
one possession to tie or win. (But everyone better be
prepared for a lot more OT ties.)
By the way, if your state is holding elections, go
vote, for crying out loud.
It's no Kobe trial, but Peyton Manning
will have to defend himself next spring against a
defamation lawsuit, stemming from an allegation he
made in his autobiography about a Tennessee
She struck back with not just the suit, but
embarrassing claims during deposition that Manning put
his rear literally in her face, which will undoubtedly
make him the butt of quite a few jokes. Wonder if The
Globe will publish any photos of that?
Why will Miami and Texas join the
big-league champs in the four BCS bowls? Because
in BCS vocab, "At-Large" is shorthand for "Who brings
the biggest money (tickets, fans, TV ratings) to the
table?" (They should call it "At-Largesse.")
Save the Crunk!
Lamenting the demise of "crunk": From
cool regional slang and hip music genre to near-parody
The final blow is the "scandal" from Sunday's
Falcons halftime show involving crunk artists who
possibly cursed during their act. Please: The show was
the shoddy game's highlight.
For the love of crunk! Someone redirect the
morality police's efforts to something a little more
worthwhile, like how the Falcons are bilking
their paying customers this season.
Starting quarterback: Rick Mirer.
Wagner to Phillies
Considering that three of the four LCS
teams had sub-par closers, you could argue that
new Phillie Billy Wagner's acquisition means little in
the grand scheme of, say, winning a title.
And don't buy the Astros' weepy tale of financial
hardship: No surprise if Houston is dumping
salaries and hoarding money to make a run at pricey
free-agent super-starter and Houston resident Andy Pettitte.
White Sox Hire Guillen
"Fun first, then you win": Gotta love
new White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen's philosophy. How
does it compare to other management styles?
"Fear first, then you win!" (G.
"Fatherly first, then you win." (J. McKeon)
"Foul-ball first, then you
win?" (D. Baker)
Yankees Hire Mattingly
In hiring Don Mattingly to be their new
hitting coach, the Yankees successfully bridge the
pre-dynasty tradition of No Titles to their
post-dynasty tradition of No Titles.
Pop Culture Files
Lust-See TV: Entertainment TV gives
teens quality sex ed*, a new study shows.
* - When discussed afterward with a parent.
(Yes, because there's nothing awkward about
15-year-old guys turning to their moms and saying
"Let's talk about how Jennifer Aniston just portrayed
the Wild Thing.")