Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Things to see no more in 2004
By Jay Cronley
Special to ESPN.com
Here are some things we don't need to see at the races in 2004.
Pete Rose at the rail.
Replays of horses falling.
Odds that change during races.
Analysts who don't pick winners.
Tote night.
Buffalo-racing night.
Camel-racing night.
Jockey-racing night.
The job history of a track security guard who carries a loaded gun.
The Photo light.
Fried cheese.
Fried rings with no onion inside.
Smoke.
Smokers.
Sparks on the homestretch.
The kitchen that serves general admission.
Its cook.
The ATM.
Flirtatious tellers.
Anonymous stewards calling fouls.
Soft penalties for cheaters.
Dead-heats.
Trainers with beer bellies.
Quarter horses on the rail.
Quarter horses in the outside post.
Commentaries and articles about the demise of horse racing.
Horses eating better than jockeys.
A highly competitive race.
Borrowers.
Hank Goldberg talking about how much he won off-air.
The Budweiser Long Shot at 5-1.
Robbers in the parking lot.
You playing my favorite $2,500 claiming races.
Somebody spitting chewing tobacco into a paper cup.
Quarter horses anywhere except in the 9- hole on my birthday.
New tellers.
Slow management.
Soiled betting machine windows.
Unused track space without slot machines.
Nasty floors.
Fuzzy monitors.
Guys going through the garbage.
Broken down vehicles in the infield.
A search for value at the windows.
First-time starters.
Last-time starters.
The track manager's new Mercedes.
Heavy play on the 1-spot at Penn National.
The underside of a horse.
Horses that always look better at closing time.
Write to Jay at jaycronley@go.com
