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If you ever find yourself in a similar "bad back" situation, here's some advice so you don't ruffle feathers at home:
1. Don't go overboard cheering/screaming at the TV -- they may think you're having too good of a time.
2. Eat a lot, because it makes you seem depressed.
3. Inexplicably start smoking again.
4. Don't shower or shave all weekend.
5. When you head to the bathroom/kitchen during commercials, throw in enough wincing and limping that you look like Vince Carter after a hard foul.
6. Don't cheer when they leave the house.
7. Don't say "Boy, my back's starting to feel much better" until the second half of the final group of Sunday games.
8. Hide the rest of your painkillers, just so you can open the empty bottle, whip it across the bathroom, then throw one of those crazed, Donna Martin-esque "Where the (bleep) are my Percocets?!?!?!?" tantrums (just for kicks). Follow these rules and you might make it without hearing one sarcastic "Yeah, you look like you're REALLY miserable watching basketball all weekend" comment. And yes, I'm an expert.
|What's missing from the NCAA Tournament? Carmelo Anthony trying to win back-to-back titles.|
|This Pirate has gone overboard.|
|Billy Packer will definitely be a hot topic of conversation this week.|
|Freshman point guard Chris Paul has been perhaps the Tournament's most impressive player.|
|If Ronny Turiaf hadn't gotten into foul trouble, maybe Gonzaga would have had a chance.|
|The Sports Guy's NCAA picks|
|ELITE 8: Wake Forest; OK State; Syracuse; UConn; Illinois; Texas; Ga. Tech; UAB FINAL 4: Wake Forest; UConn; Illinois; Ga. Tech TITLE GAME: UConn over Wake Forest|