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Monday, March 29, 2004
Page 2 Quickie: March 26, 2004

The Lead Item
Two Words For You:

Let's just rename UAB the University of Alabama-Bandwagon.

If they don't win tonight, it's the Tournament's -- and the fans' -- loss.

There's no better potential matchup than 9-seed UAB vs. 10-seed Nevada for the right to advance to the Final Four from the Midwest. It's the ultimate Cinderella scenario.

Oh, sure, there's St. Joe's, but with every win, their likeability has decreased with the increase to the size of the chip on their shoulder.

Oklahoma State? They're the best team that fans couldn't care less about. UConn? We yawn. Alabama? Not even the most exciting team in its own state.

And who can we look forward to coming out of Friday's games? Texas? More Big 12 hoops that resembles football. Kansas? Bill Self has to realize that KU annually folds right around now. Duke? Two words: Duck. Fuke.

Root like (40 Minutes of) Hell for UAB, Nevada and Xavier. Scenarios with the other teams lack the same excitement.

More on Friday
Don't mean to overlook Xavier, playing more like a top seed than a No. 7 right now. Since no one else will do it, can I spark a good nickname for the X-Men's star: Lionel "Superintendent" Chalmers (31 pts, 11/13 FG vs. Miss St).

Illinois' sick backcourt will give Duke fits, but if you'll allow a small conspiracy theory, the NCAA "needs" the star wattage that Duke will bring to the Final Four. All you Laker-haters out there know what I'm talking about ...

East, West Finals
East: (1) Joe's vs. (2) OK St
SJ winning over the skeptics,
but OK St is best they've seen.
Final Four-bound: Oklahoma St

West: (2) UConn vs. (8) Bama
UConn just steamrolled Vandy;
frontcourt wall a Tide-breaker.
Final Four-bound: UConn

IOC in Athens
And taking the "gold medal" for panicked expressions: The IOC delegation as it tours around Athens and realizes what a cluster---- the Olympic preparations are.

NBA Minimum Age
Age ain't nothing but a number: NBA wants minimum age of 20. Ludicrous x 3:

*Will never hold up in court
*Age is completely arbitrary
*Two words: LeBron. Carmelo.

'Dream Job' Finale
Three best reasons to watch:

1) Winner gets chance to answer sports-trivia questions for higher salary (but missed questions drop salary!)

2) Star judge Al Jaffe, ESPN's top talent exec, who is the real breakout hit of the show.

3) Fans have complete control over who wins.

The Pick: It's Zach Selwyn's "Job" to lose. (Sunday, 9-11 p.m. ET, ESPN).