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|It's about time they reissued the DVD for "Goodfellas."|
|Perhaps Norv Turner will succeed this time around as a head coach.|
|Jerry Rice might go straight from catching passes to collecting Social Security.|
Actually, I just made that up. But Jake just seems poised for a monster season in Carolina, doesn't he? And yes, in my storied history of flip-flops on people, the Delhomme Era has to rank right near the top. But what can you do? The guy proved me wrong. Now somebody please talk Berman out of another year of "Daylight come and they want to Delhomme" songs. Please. (Speaking of Spider, remember when Michael Imperioli was just "That Guy Who Played Spider," then slowly morphed into "That Guy Who Plays Christopher" on the "Sopranos," then ultimately became "Michael Imperioli," and now it's strange to watch "Goodfellas" because he's firmly entrenched in the "I forgot he played Spider!" stage of his career? It's always fun when that happens. As opposed to Lorraine Bracco, who's in her "I forgot that she used to be able to act!" stage in "Goodfellas." But that's a whole other story.)
|Jamal Lewis might stumble this year with all he has to deal with off the field.|
15. "I want my money! I want my money!" To Keenan McCardell ... I'm with Keenan on this one. He's 34 years old, he's underpaid, and NFL teams routinely force players to take pay cuts or restructure contracts. So why shouldn't this work the other way sometimes? And while we're here, if you were a 350-pound offensive lineman, wouldn't you hold out every year, then show up right before the first week of games? It's pure genius. Why wouldn't athletes in other sports try this? 16. "Who wants to go to Uncle Paulie's?" "Meeeeeeeeeeeee!" To Corey Dillon, freed from Cincy and saying all the right things in New England, many of them even in the third person. (Bill Simmons loves when Corey Dillon talks about himself in the third person.) Sure, there's a wide spectrum of possibilities here, ranging from "Bob McAdoo, Lakers, 1981-85" to "Carl Everett, Boston, 2000." I'm ready for anything. Right now, it looks like we might be okay. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen ... other than him single-handedly ruining the winning streak and any potential for a dynasty? (That quote always cracked me up, by the way. Ray Liotta sees his daughters as a free man for the first time in four years, hugs them for about 0.9 seconds and screams, "Who wants to go to Uncle Paulie's?", then they practically do backflips like they're headed to Disney World or something. "All right! We get to go over to that big scary fat guy's house who has people killed! Yippee!") 17. "They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn't give him an open coffin at the funeral." To poor Eddie George, inevitably pushed under a bus in Tennessee last spring. Probably should have happened two years ago. On the bright side, Distant Replays gets to add Eddie's Cowboys jersey to their "Throwback Jerseys You Tried To Forget Ever Happened" collection, joining Emmitt's Cardinals jersey, Franco's Seahawks jersey, Namath's Rams jersey, Hakeem's Raptors jersey, Robert Conrad's "Battle of the Network Stars" T-shirt from the year he competed for CBS, MJ's Wizards jersey, and every other anti-classic. 18. "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." One of the all-time great opening movie lines goes to one of the all-time great opening games: Indy and New England on Thursday night, maybe the first time when a team's entire season (in this case, Indy) could be defined by Week 1. If they lose, they're back to Square 1. Again. Of course ...
19. "If we wanted something, we just took it. If anyone complained twice, they got hit so bad, believe me, they never complained again." To Belichick and the Patriots, who are being blamed for the tightening of the pass defense rules. In other words, the old rules were in place, the Patriots used those rules to their advantage and played accordingly ... and now, because the Colts were unhappy that they were pushed around like school kids in the AFC Championship game, it's almost like the Pats cheated last season.
Wait a second ...
Those were the rules! Those were the rules! Last winter, you were allowed to bring up your strong safety and have him belt Marvin Harrison off the line of scrimmage! You could do things like that! Which raises a bigger point ...
20. "Now go home and get your (bleeping) shine box." If there's a greater put-down in the history of put-downs than "Now go home and get your (bleeping) shine box," I've yet to hear it. Of course, it ended up getting Billy Batts nearly stomped to death, then driven around in a hot car for three hours and ultimately stabbed 20 times, shot five more times, buried in the middle of Jersey, then exhumed six months later and buried somewhere else. So there were some repercussions. Still, great put-down. I think it was worth it.
|The pressure will be on Peyton Manning and his Colts, starting Thursday night.|