Print and Go Back Page 2 [Print without images]

Friday, October 8, 2004
Page 2 Quickie: October 7, 2004

The Lead Item
Two Words For You:

The use of "patented" is one of the great sports cliches.

Like "Patented Yankee rally."

The approach of a "patented" moment can usually be seen from a distance -- say, the mileage on Twins closer Joe Nathan's arm by the start of the 12th inning.

The pitches started rising, the Yankees trotting to first. (Jeter on base? Part of "patented" is simply knowing he'd score that winning run, complete with some Jeter-like fist-pumping flourish that drives Yankee-haters nuts.)

Twins manager Ron Gardenhire simply stood there, like he was rubber-necking an accident on New York's FDR Drive, pulling a patented Grady Little.

Yes, it's only Game 2, and, sure, the series goes back to Minnesota for the next two, but the Twins will now get 48 hours of patented national reaction to losses like this: "Yup, the Twins are toast."

(But on another note, apparently coming soon: "Patented Boston reliever effectiveness.")

Rocket, HOU wins
The question isn't whether Houston will win their first playoff series in franchise history, but only if it will happen in 3 (likely), 4 (possibly) or 5 (remotely).

As the Cards and Red Sox are also showing, the Astros' explosive offense makes pitching easy. No need for Gardenhire-like blunders decisions when you're up half a dozen runs.

UVA: Big test
You can keep USC and OKLA: Simply because of the ridiculous reputation bias of preseason polling, they sit 1-2. The real top two contenders are Quickie preseason champ pick Purdue and Virginia, which gets to prove me right in an ESPN showcase at home tonight (7:30) vs. Clemson.

Ricky Watch
Ricky Williams' NFL career is like "Wheel of Fortune":

"Big money! Big money!" early
"Lose a Turn" to start '04
"Bankrupt" is the new play

He reportedly wants to declare financial insolvency, seemingly as a ploy to void his Dolphins contract and become a free agent. The NFL scoffs, but some in-state experts say he's got a shot.

I'd like to solve the puzzle:
R-A-I-D-E-R N-A-T-I-O-N.

Sosa Fined Big
The Cubs tagged Sammy for $87,400 for bolting the team's season finale early (Early? Try after 15 minutes, apparently. I got more attention from my last HMO visit.)

Sosa is balking at the number, of course. Maybe rumors of a trade to the Royals were floated to make $87K suddenly seem desirable.

Tiger Gets Hitched
A nuptials comparison, between Tiger Woods' wedding this week and my own from Sunday:

TW: Sandy Lane, Barbados
DS: Amelia Island, Florida

TW: $1.5 million
DS: Wee bit south of that

TW: Aggravatingly, some
DS: Blissfully, none

Celeb the bride compared to:
TW: Uh, Elin Nordegren
DS: Ashley Judd (yes, really)

TW: Hootie and the Blowfish
DS: Can only go up from there

Guest list:
TW: MJ, Oprah, Barkley
DS: Fans of three above

Bride blamed for...:
TW: Major title drought
DS: 447-Quickie streak ending