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Thursday, April 7, 2005
What was Big Mac thinking?

Page 2 staff

What the heck was Mark McGwire thinking when he repeatedly told a congressional hearing on steroid abuse in baseball: "I'm not here to talk about the past."

Mark McGwire
"I swear to tell ... absolutely nothing."
A. "I only want to talk about my future – my miserable, tainted future."

B. "I'm not here to talk about the past, but I AM here to kick the crap out of Canseco."

C. "I'm not here to talk about the past, but I AM here to sniffle like a weenie."

D. "This is the last time I hire an attorney who went to law school in Guadalajara."

E. "Unless you mean the guilty-sounding responses of my extremely recent past, because I AM here to repeat those."

F. "Forget about anything I might have to say. I just pray poor Sammy can somehow regain his command of English that he seems to have tragically lost."