Thursday, September 1, 2005
Page 2 Quickie: August 31, 2005
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
The 2005 Award for Most Irony has been
claimed. No one else will come close to Andy
About 10 seconds after AmEx unveils a TV ad campaign
where Roddick loses his "mojo," he's bounced in the
first round of the US Open by an unknown.
Reality imitating art?
Sure, except in the "art," presumably, Roddick was
going to find his mojo and make a run at the U.S. Open
title -- not get bounced, left to cruise around NYC
nightlife like an "Entourage" wannabe.
The magnitude of the upset actually derives entirely
from the unfortunate content (and timing) of the TV
ad. After all, defending women's Open champ Svetlana
Kuznetsova lost in the first round and fans said
"Who?" (if they said anything).
Irony this delicious (we're talking the equivalent of
a top rating in the NYC Zagat's Guide) comes along
once in a generation.
The last time I can remember something bombing this
substantially was Reebok's "Dan vs. Dave" campaign
before the '92 Olympics, where "Dan" didn't even make
it to Barcelona.
Move over, fellas:
"Andy vs. Mojo" eclipses it.
For all their flaws, at least Dan and Dave were
Andy was undercut by the figment of a copywriter's
I spent a lot of time yesterday watching the
harrowing post-Katrina coverage of the devastation,
and I realize that instead of floating Giambi-for-MVP
arguments (hyperbole, folks!), I should have led with
What probably resonated most for sports fans
everywhere was the storm's impact on something as
seemingly indestructible as the Superdome. Now people
who sought refuge in the Dome are even being evacuated
Overpowering news, and thoughts continue to be with
all the people affected down there, across the Gulf
Saints: What Next?
How long will it take the NFL to figure
out what to do if ("if?" Or "when?") the Superdome
isn't ready to be played in by Week 2?
San Antonio? Okay. But here's my suggestion: Put the
game location up for auction nationally and give the
proceeds to emergency relief funds.
Wells Called In
Told to go to NYC to meet with MLB (but
won't meet with Selig himself).
Well, you know what they say: If you don't have
anything nice to say about someone, tell it to his
Maybe while Wells is in NYC, he can go partying with
Roddick's mojo. They both have some time on their
Bonds Takes BP
His no-longer-secret training at UCLA
(swings in a batting cage) is the best signal yet that
he could make a September return. Even if all he does
is pinch-hit, it's huge. Not bigger than the Wild Card
races, but you can bet it'll be covered like it
Raffy Wears Earplugs
If there's ANY correlation between
Palmeiro's reason for wearing earplugs (hostile
boos on the road) and his performance while
wearing them (miserable 0-4), then it's safe to
say his career is effectively over and he might as
Unit vs. King Felix
Johnson vs. Hernandez is the pitching
duel of the summer: One legend on his way out, the
other on his way up. Total must-see.
Good news for Felix: The pressure's entirely on
Johnson and the Yankees to make up for Shawn Chacon's
brutal start Tuesday.
NL Wild Card: With Mike Piazza's season
potentially over, who else wants to pencil the Mets
into the NL Wild Card (unless he comes back)?
Mets edge Phillies on Castro HR, now tied with HOU .5
GB PHI and FLA. And Pedro pitches vs. Philly in NY
tonight. Playoff atmosphere? You bet.
AL West: Zito-Colon lived up to expectations,
in a 2-1 A's win in 11 and gems by both. Colon went
10; Zito pitched a 3-hitter with 9 Ks. Still, the A's
have won 7 straight; the Angels have lost 5 in a
Buehrle vs. Rangers: In the 1st half of CHI-TEX
DH, it sure looked like the Rangers were using light
signals (8 runs in W); then, in the 2nd game, they
didn't (0 runs in L).
Falcons cut Peerless Price: Name of
player now includes 100 percent more irony!
Bengals release Warrick: Stop dreaming, Eagles
fans. Would Rosenhaus even *think* about putting
another of his WR clients in Philly?
CFB 2K5: Storylines
As usual, don't be fooled: Anything
labeled "Storylines" is merely a sports journalist's
1. Can USC three-peat?
Actually, it's 2.5-peat.
2. BCS mess, again
Watch that renegade AP poll
3. Spurrier vs. Meyer
SEC's faster turnaround at UF
4. This year's Utah?
Boise St. Preview? Sat at UGA
5. This year's Auburn?
The Big Ten is the new SEC
Coming Thursday: Bandwagons!