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Thursday, November 17, 2005
Page 2 Quickie: November 17, 2005

The Lead Item
Two Words For You:

Quickie vocab time!

Today's Word: Larry-gagging.

Definition: Inability of Larry Brown to make a team better, perhaps revealing that he is no longer the master of "coaching up" that he once was.

(Alternative definition: The Knicks are so bad that they produce a choking, sputtering noise from their coach pacing the sidelines.)

Used in a sentence: "You LARRY-GAG the ball around the court. You LARRY-GAG your way down the court. You LARRY-GAG on and off the bench. Do you know what that makes you? Larry?"


That's right: Larry-gaggers.

The difference between Brown and Phil Jackson may be the former has an intractable philosophy and the latter embraces his soft skills.

Or that the former has a roster stocked with Isiah-picked talent players and the latter has Kobe (42 points).

But right now, all fans can see is that Phil's Lakers are .500 (his expectations line) and Brown is a miserable 2-6.

Yup, Larry-gagging.

Sixers Win Again
Six Ws in a row, and Allen Iverson put in a season-high 42. Perhaps it's worth qualifying that the 76ers beat the woeful, winless Raptors, but at this point, any good news is great for Philly sports fans.

(Meanwhile, perhaps Sixers soph Andre Iguodala was motivated by being left off Arizona's roster in Page 2's Great College Tourney.

AI2 had a career-high 26 -- six 3s! -- last night.)

Randy: No to T.O.

You know a player is radioactive when even Randy Moss says something to the effect of "Stay the heck away from me!"

Actually, his precise quote to ESPN about T.O. was this:
"I don't think with his baggage and everything he's been through and my baggage and what I've been through -- I don't think that would work."

Hmmm... Ya think?!

Super Bowl in K.C.?

I've seen this movie: The NFL dangles the Super Bowl in front of a Podunk sketchy-weather town in exchange for building a spanking new arena that can handle football in February.

That town was New York City, and the folks of NYC didn't just punt on that opportunity -- they sacked it, then did a Gastineau-style dance.

Now Kansas City is given the offer for 2015 or '17: Somehow I think that the good citizens of K.C. will mortgage whatever future it takes to bring the Super Bowl to town. I recommend the ribs.

MLB's Greenie Problem

I waited a day for all the analysis of MLB's new steroid plan to settle before wondering if fans really know what they've gotten.

I'm talking specifically about the ban on amphetamines (a.k.a. "greenies"), which is an epidemic in baseball that makes 'roid use look paltry.

I'm not saying every player
(ab)uses them, but if we were playing "PTI's" Over/Under, I would tell Reali to put "90 percent" on the card.

Can players even play without the boost? Considering they haven't had to for decades (where's your sanctimony now, Jim Bunning?), who knows?

Coaches vs. Cancer
One of college hoops' most high-profile causes brings a show to NYC, featuring Wake Forest (sans Chris Paul) vs. Mrs. Quickie's Gators (7 p.m. ET, ESPN) and Bobby Knight vs. Jim Boeheim in a steel-cage match at 9 ET.

(What? No steel cage? But you'd donate a lot to see THAT, right?)

More CBB: Intriguing early-season matchup between No. 12 Memphis and No. 14 Alabama (10 p.m. ET, ESPN2). If "intriguing" means, "which one is more likely to have an early-round bracket flame-out in March?"

Best Sports DVDs

"Raging Bull" tops Entertainment Weekly's list of the top 30 sports DVDs, followed by "Caddyshack," "Hoosiers," "Rocky" and "Bull Durham" to round out the top five.

I didn't see any documentaries on the list, which is a shame, because "Hoop Dreams" is one of the best sports-movie DVDs ever produced. I also didn't see "Varsity Blues" on there, but that's obviously my own peccadillo.