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Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Updated: November 29, 2:30 PM ET
East Coast Tour, Part II

By Bill Simmons
Page 2

Time to announce the dates for the second East Coast Book Tour. Possible titles for this tour include, "Simmonspalooza 2," "A Thinly-Veiled Excuse To Come Back Home For the Holidays," or the "We Screwed Up The First One So Badly, We Had To Have A Second One Tour."

Just so you know, I'm still hoping to do a Seattle-Portland swing (note to the Portland readers: we're waiting for an opening at Powell Books, which is apparently booked until 2019), as well as a Dallas-San Antonio-Austin-Houston swing, but that's not happening until next year. There's also going to be a Vegas book signing at some point, as soon as I brainwash the people at ESPN Books to believe that people would actually show up for a Vegas book signing. And then we're done. I promise.

Make sure to keep checking back here to see if anything changes for the second East Coast tour. Right now, it's shaping up like this:

UPDATE!
Sunday 12/11 -- Boston, MA -- 3:00pm
Barnes and Noble (Kenmore Square)
660 Beacon St.
(617) 267-8484

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. There's a Pats-Bills game at 1:00. I know. Believe me, I know. This was my reaction as well. I could give you the whole story, but I will end up jamming a letter opener into my temple. Anyway, if you want to get a book signed without waiting in a line, here's your chance.


Tuesday 12/6 -- Washington, DC -- 5:00pm
ESPN Zone
555 12th St. NW
(202) 783-3776

After the previous D.C. debacle, we're trying one more time. There's also a Wizards-Raptors game that night that my buddy House and I will be attending... hopefully his girlfriend will extend his curfew past 10:30 pm that night. I'm excited to scream Midnight Oil lyrics at Charlie Villanueva.

(One other DC note: To everyone waiting for a signed book from the last DC visit, they were Fed Ex'ed to the Barnes and Noble store last week and you should have them this week. So sorry for the delay.)

Wednesday 12/7 -- Philadelphia, PA -- 5:30 pm
Borders
1 Broad St.
(215) 568-7400

Very excited about this one -- the Philly readers are among my favorites. Plus, this could be my one chance to get booed during a signing. And there's a Bucks-Sixers game that night that I'll be hitting, and only because A) I couldn't pass up the chance to see a TJ Ford-Iverson matchup in person, and B) I needed to knock of Philly's NBA arena on my "NBA Arenas I've Watched Games In" list (although all these arenas look the same now, so it's a pretty dumb list).

Thursday 12/8 -- New York City -- 7pm
Barnes and Noble (Union Square)
33 E. 17th St.
(212) 253-0810

Yes, we're allowing Yankee fans, as well as anyone dressed like a member of the Baseball Furies.
Monday 12/12 -- Providence, RI -- 6pm
Borders
142 Providence Pl.
(401) 270-4801

I'm a big Providence fan by the way -- you're within an hour of the Cape, Boston, Foxwoods and Worcester, and you have malls, good restaurants and your own airport, as well as recognizable celebrities like "The Pride of Providence" himself, Mr. Peter Manfredo. And there's a certain group of guys who look and dress like a younger version of Sylvio in "The Sopranos." Great place to go to college. In fact, we'll see if my cousin Chris Farina takes a break from cleaning up puke at his Bryant College frat house to make an appearance.

(Side note: If you don't think me and the J-Bug are driving down to Foxwoods right after the signing, you obviously don't know us well enough. Life is short, life is sweet, come on and grab a front row seat... we'll drink, and have a ball... YEAH!)

Tuesday 12/13 -- Peabody, MA -- 6pm
Borders
151 Andover St.
(978) 538-3003

We had an exciting coin flip between Peabody and Braintree to determine who would win this Tuesday spot between the North Shore and South Shore -- Peabody ended up calling tails and winning the toss. Practical location here -- it's close to 95, 128, 405, 8675309 and any other highway on the North Shore.

Wednesday 12/14 -- Boston, MA -- 12pm
Barnes and Noble (Prudential Center)
800 Boylston St.
(617) 247-6959

Special lunch-time signing so I can sneak over to the Fleet Center (excuse me, TD Banknorth Garden) that night to see Ron Artest and the Pacers battle the 16-time World Champion Boston Celtics. Also co-hosting Michael Felger's ESPN Radio show from 4:00-to-7:00PM as well (hopefully from a bar in the Causeway Street area). Stay tuned for details on this.

Friday 12/16 -- Los Angeles, CA -- 7pm
Barnes and Noble (The Grove at Farmers Market)
189 Grove Drive Suite K 30
(323) 525-0270

On the list of "Top 100 things about living in LA," the Grove has to be in the top-10, right up there with Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, Amoeba Records and the Arclight Cinema. Just think, you can get a little X-mas shopping done, get a book signed, maybe even see some D-list celebs walking around.

Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine and his Sports Guy's World site is updated every day Monday through Friday. His new book "Now I Can Die In Peace" is available on Amazon.com and in bookstores everywhere.