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|If we had a "Man of the Year" award, Jose Canseco would be the odds-on favorite.|
|THE IGNOMINIOUS MVP OF 2005|
|Who was the naugtiest of the naughty in 2005? Ahh ... so many candidates. But Page 2 takes you through the bracket of shame and declares the true MVP of 2005.|
|Can you please be a little more specific with your booing?|
|"You think I'm a liar? Well, I think you're glib!"|
|Talk about beer goggles
After pulling over Oregon State football player Ben Michael Siegert for an alleged DUI speeding, police found a stolen ram in the back of his pickup truck. Broke-BAA-ck Mountain
The ram was taken from a research facility where it was part of a study on homosexuality in sheep. Hey, is that a wool sweater in your closet?
Said Siegert: "I'm from a city. I don't know anything about sheep."
|"Hello, everybody! Plenty of good doctors have been trained in Guadalajara."|
|2005: YEAR IN REVIEW|
• Jim Caple: A strange, strange year
• Paul Lukas: Uni Watch year in review
• Scoop Jackson: What mattered most
• Jeff Merron: Sex & Sports
• Vote for the all-SportsNation Team
• Rank the top personalities of 2005
• Quiz: How well do you know 2005?
|Yes, we'd endure "Highway to Hell," for a chance to party with Maria Sharapova.|
|And you thought these two had nothing in common with China's Olympic divers.|
|THE YEAR IN O.J.|
|Maybe, just maybe, the real killers are hiding someplace other than a golf course
O.J. Simpson told the Associated Press he planned to attend the Orange Bowl contest between Southern Cal and Oklahoma. Quiet, you'll blow his cover!
Simpson's attorney wouldn't allow the former Trojans star to say where he planned to sit inside the stadium. Figuratively speaking
Said Simpson of Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson: "He scares me to death." Even if I did do this, it would have to be because I loved "NFL Sunday Ticket" so much, right?
A Florida judge ordered Simpson to pay DirecTV $25,000 in damages for pirating its broadcast signals. Honestly, Mark Fuhrman can't even program his VCR
The court rejected Simpson's contention that the signal had been planted.
|So to review: Cheese, yes. Antlers, no. Goofy orange balls, we're not sure.|
|GOING BOTH WAYS|
|Eat your heart out, Felicity Huffman
Zimbabwe junior track star Samukeliso Sithole, who has won several gold medals in women's events, was revealed to be a man. Yeah, we hate it when that happens
Sithole claimed that after he was born with both male and female sex organs, a traditional healer made his penis disappear but it had since regrown. We could make a joke about medical insurance, but frankly, we're still laughing about his last name
Sithole added that his penis reappeared because he failed to fully pay the traditional healer.
|The Worm will bring a little dignity to the Lingerie Football League.|
|Here's that shot of Ashley Judd in the stands ...|
|Why, oh why, did the Spurs have to win another damn championship?|
|We missed it. Did something happen with the Panthers cheerleaders in 2005?|