|ESPN.com: Page 2||[Print without images]|
|McNabb must be feeling pretty good today.|
|One minute he's a genius, the next ... not so much.|
7. The Lions have now lost nine games in a row at the Metrodome after yesterday's come-from-ahead loss to the Vikings. But hey, some teams just don't play well in domes. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just too bad for the Lions that their home stadium is also a dome. 8. Chicago's schedule for the next four weeks looks like this: Cardinals, bye, 49ers, Dolphins. So listen up, Bears -- you pretty much have nothing going on for the next month. That's plenty of time to get hooked up with a good producer, book some studio time and record a listenable single. There's no excuse for the 2006 version of "Super Bowl Shuffle" to have lyrics like: "I'm the punky QB, known as McMahon / When I hit the turf, I've got no plan / I just throw my body all over the field / I can't dance, but I can throw the pill." See what I'm saying? For instance, see "field" and "pill" there? Yeah, they don't really rhyme. Actually, they don't rhyme at all. So you have a month, Bears. Football fans expect better. And maybe get Kyle Orton started on this right away. Kyle Orton and Jack Daniel's could be the greatest songwriting duo since Rodgers and Hammerstein.
DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the award-winning sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and Fantasy Sports Monthly, and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book -- "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" -- will be in stores soon.