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|Without Orlando Pace, the Rams Bandwagon is now empty.|
|"I'd like to announce my second-round fantasy pick: Matt Leinart!"|
Here's what you missed this week from the Sports Guy:
• Poison of potential
Bill Simmons breaks down the pain and agony caused by the team tantalizer. Consider yourself warned.
• Beat The Sports Guy
Week 14: Bears at Rams
|Is this what it's like being a Falcons fan?|
Through 13 weeks, against the spread:
Favorites vs. spread: 80-105-6
Home teams vs. spread: 99-86-6
Road favorites: 22-40-3
Dogs winning outright: 74 of 105
FATALLY FLAWED10. Jacksonville
You already know about the traffic in L.A., but now that it's Xmas season, even parking has become impossible. Fortunately I happen to be married to a guy with the self-proclaimed "parking gene." (Apparently this runs in the family because his dad thinks he has it, too.) Every so often, Bill stumbles upon the perfect spot -- like last week, when I made him stop at Pinkberry (the greatest frozen yogurt shop ever) and he found a space right in front, then spent the next 30 seconds congratulating himself. He was so pleased. It's too bad they can't have the League of Dorks for finding parking spaces, I'm sure he'd be in three leagues and calling his buddy Hench every time he found a good space so they could calculate the standings. But this parking luck is what he calls the "parking gene."
Here's the problem with the parking gene: When he doesn't find the perfect spot immediately, he refuses to give up. This is another gene -- the I'm-so-stubborn-that-I'll keep-driving-around-looking-for-the-perfect-space-even-though-my-wife-has-to-pee gene. This usually kicks in after he gets cocky and says something like, "I'm going to find a spot on Level 2 and nothing is stopping me," and then it doesn't happen.
What does happen? We spend 15 minutes driving around Level 2 inside a hot parking garage that's filled with carbon monoxide. What a great time. Finally he'll give up and drive to Level 4, where there are about 100 spaces available. This is unacceptable, of course, since it takes another 20 seconds to go to Level 4 and an extra 3 seconds in the elevator. We spend 15 minutes trying to save 23 seconds. This happens every time we go to the Grove. If I'm ever found dead in a parking garage, skip the autopsy and just assume that I died of a carbon monoxide overdose or my bladder exploded while Bill was circling around looking for the perfect space. I can't wait to do more holiday shopping with Bill and his parking gene.
Here are my Week 14 picks (sent Thursday morning): Browns -7.5; Chiefs -3; Falcons -3; Vikings +1.5; Titans +1.5; Cowboys -6.5; Bills +3.5; Jags +1.5; Eagles -1; Giants +3; Bengals -11; Patriots -3.5; 49ers -4; Seahwawks -3.5; Broncos +7; Bears -6.
Last week: 8-8
|The Bears celebrate the fact Grossman had only two interceptions in this game.|
Home team in caps
Ravens (+3) over CHIEFS
Falcons (-3) over BUCS
Vikings (+1.5) over LIONS
Titans (+1.5) over TEXANS
Saints (+6.5) over COWBOYS
Bills (+3.5) over JETS
JAGS (+1.5) over Colts
REDSKINS (+1) over Eagles
Giants (+3) over PANTHERS
BENGALS (-11) over Raiders
DOLPHINS (+3.5) over Pats
49ERS (-4) over Packers
Seahawks (-3.5) over CARDS
CHARGERS (-7) over Broncos
Bears (-6) over RAMS
This week: 0-1
Last week: 9-7
|Memo to Marty: Just keep giving LDT the ball and maybe even you can't screw this up.|