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Monday, December 18, 2006
Updated: December 20, 12:53 PM ET
Who should Tom Brady date?

By Mike Philbrick
Page 2

According to multiple news reports, various publicists and the Vatican ... Thomas Edward Brady Jr. is once again single.

While normal protocol in this situation would call for an alert to be issued by the Office of Homeland Security in conjunction with an emergency session of Congress, Page 2 has decided to do the heavy lifting and give our public servants a break for the holidays.

Using the BCS computers we have narrowed down the top 10 women Mr. Brady should consider. And seeing how he is a celebrity, there is only one person qualified to pass judgment on the situation: You.

When you're done staring and Google image searching, make America proud and vote: Who should be the next arm candy for our favorite NFL quarterback?

Mandy Moore Minka Kelly
Mandy Moore
Minka Kelly
Claim to fame: The only teen singer/actress who hasn't gone insane
Pros: 5-foot-10 and born in New England, making her the Pats' best option at WR
Cons: Wilmer Valderrama and Andy Roddick can now laugh at him
Claim to fame: Plays Lyla Garrity (yes, the cheerleader) on "Friday Night Lights"
Pros: Allegedly a football fan
Cons: Cheated on her paralyzed boyfriend with his best friend (wait, that was TV)

Bibiana Julian Salma Hayek
Bibiana Julian
Salma Hayek
Claim to fame: Dolphins cheerleader, recently honored by FHM
Pros: True cheerleader, doesn't just pretend on TV
Cons: Could tell Fins defensive coordinator about Tom's vocal "idiosyncrasies"
Claim to fame: Mexico's greatest export
Pros: Could introduce him to best friend Penelope Cruz
Cons: Could make him watch "Fools Rush In"

Jennifer Aniston Scarlett Johansson
Jennifer Aniston
Scarlett Johansson
Claim to fame: Will only be Rachel from "Friends"
Pros: Could probably hook him up with Matthew McConaughey's cell number
Cons: Convincingly showed affection for David Schwimmer, therefore can't be trusted
Claim to fame: Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive
Pros: Potential for rivalry and ultimate showdown with Derek Jeter and Jessica Biel
Cons: Their children would be teased with the nickname "the master race"

Tara Conner Satan
Tara Conner
Claim to fame: Miss USA who's about to call herself the "fired" Miss USA
Pros: Would make Brady look less foolish when he goes out wearing his Mr. USA sash
Cons: Could upset The Donald, never a good idea.
Claim to fame: Prince of Darkness, dated Kurt Warner in the late '90s
Pros: Has the ability to make Peyton Manning or LaDainian Tomlinson fumble at will
Cons: Could revoke deal they made in 2001 and re-make the Pats the NFL's joke

Lindsay Lohan Pamela Anderson
Lindsay Lohan
Pamela Anderson
Claim to fame: Bad movies, worse songs and even worse e-mails released to the public
Pros: Encyclopedic knowledge of all parties and nightclubs in the Northern Hemisphere
Cons: See Reid, Tara, 2001
Claim to fame: The reason (besides laughing at The Hoff) you watched "Baywatch"
Pros: Can break down game film and home videos
Cons: Would need more than his Visa seven layers of protection to survive

Photo credits:, Bibiana Julian (Miami Dolphins)

Mike Philbrick is an editor for Page 2. You can reach him at