I have a bone to pick with the NFL: It's totally unfair to play Sunday and Monday games when they fall on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. How is it right to give every man in the country a free pass on two of the most hectic days of the year? Aren't they aware that Christmas Eve is the day that most men decide it's time to do their Christmas shopping? Or that their significant others are most likely running around and picking up their holiday slack while they watch eight football games at once?
I spent my Christmas Eve cooking the side dishes for Christmas dinner, making last-minute trips to the grocery store, taking care of our baby, walking the dogs, getting the turkey ready, etc. Meanwhile, Bill was parked in front of the TV watching the Patriots and making annoying phone calls (in the annoying voice he saves just for those calls) to his buddy Tony, the same guy who yelled at Bill the previous night at a Christmas party because Bill was too negative about the playoff hopes for their fake football team. I swear to God, Bill watched football for seven straight hours on Christmas Eve. If there had been a Sunday night game, I probably would have attacked him like Lionel Richie's wife.
Then, the next day, their League of Dorks championship game came down to T.O. against some guy on the Dolphins who apparently stinks because Bill kept swearing every time he dropped a pass. This guy ruined Bill's whole Christmas. It's so sad that the Patriots and the League of Dorks commanded most of his attention on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. And I'm sure there were millions of other guys just like him. So thanks, NFL, for ruining the 2006 holiday season. Maybe next year you can schedule the Super Bowl on my birthday or Valentine's Day.
Here are my Week 17 picks: Giants -2.5, Pitt +6, Cowboys -13, Texans -4, Jags +2, Vikings +1.5, Saints +3, Raiders +12.5, Seahawks +3, Pats +3, Bills +9, Colts -9, Eagles -8, Niners +10.5, Chargers -13.5, Bears -2.5.
Last week: 9-7