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Thursday, April 12, 2007
Updated: April 13, 8:07 PM ET
Hey, at least you'll be able to get tickets

By Keith Jackson II
Special to Page 2

OK, so Mary Buckheit has compiled the ultimate NFL road trip for 2007. For every must-see game, however, there is ... umm, the Detroit Lions' schedule? We kid, Matt Millen, we kid! Your Lions only make a few appearances on the worst NFL road trip for 2007.

Week 1: Detroit at Oakland

Isn't every game enhanced when "regular" people decide to dress up like World of Warcraft characters and spit on the visiting team while yelling obscenities? Free advice: Don't wear Honolulu blue to this game.

Week 2: Green Bay at New York Giants

This will likely be hyped as Favre's last game in the New York area. Here's the bigger storyline: How many times will Eli Manning shrug at the sideline after calling a timeout? Sorry, we'll pass. One caveat: this might be the game when Jeremy Shockey actually punches a coach.

Week 3: Indianapolis at Houston

The Texans might not have a great offensive line to protect new quarterback Matt Schaub, but at least they have Reggie Bush. D'oh! Expect the point spread to be around 30.

Week 4: Baltimore at Cleveland

Inexplicable injuries ravage the Browns every season. It's distinctly possible that Cleveland could suffer an injury during the coin toss. Which will probably be the highlight of this game.

Week 5: Seattle at Pittsburgh

Hear that low roar? That's the grumbling of Seahawks fans still complaining about Super Bowl XL. If you're lucky you'll get seated next to one and get to hear a three-hour rant about how they got jobbed.

Week 6: Houston at Jacksonville

Get used to hearing this: "Schaub drops to pass … and he's down again."

Week 7: New York Jets at Cincinnati Bengals

Two good teams, but one big problem: Chris Henry with free time on his hands. It might be a good idea to stay off the roads in Cincinnati.

Week 8: New York Giants vs. Miami (London)

Let's see: expensive ticket, long flight, bad in-flight movie, jet lag and possibly having to explain the sport to everyone in your section -- all so you can possibly see Cleo Lemon quarterback the Dolphins!

Week 9: San Francisco at Atlanta

If you want a backup quarterback to pressure your starter, is Joey Harrington the answer? Or was Joey brought in to be Michael Vick's mule at airports?

Week 10: Buffalo at Miami

You know Miami is in trouble at quarterback when the best one on the field will be J.P. Losman.

Week 11: Oakland at Minnesota

The return of Randy Moss (42 catches last season) to the Metrodome might have meter maids around the city quaking -- but not the Vikings' defense. When was the last scoreless tie?

Week 12: Green Bay at Detroit

What not to give thanks for … having to watch the Lions in person.

Week 13: Houston at Tennessee

While Pacman Jones is on academic sabbatical in West Virginia, the Titans' defensive line will be making Matt Schaub wish he was still on the sidelines in Atlanta.

Week 14: Oakland at Green Bay

Upside: chance to watch Favre play in a snow game at Lambeau is awesome. Downside: watching Randy Moss recreate the **** in a box video after scoring a touchdown. Then again, it's the Raiders and Packers. This could be another scoreless tie, except there will probably be a couple of INT touchdown returns.

Week 15: Tennessee at Kansas City

There is nothing like watching Damon Huard in a late-season game spurring his team to a top-five pick.

Week 16: Atlanta at Arizona

We'd love to hang out with Matt Leinart and Michael Vick after the game. But we're pretty sure we wouldn't want to see these teams with nothing on the line.

Week 17: Cincinnati at Miami

Sure, this could be two teams fighting for the playoffs. But will there actually be a game? The Bengals in South Beach … this close to New Years? Will they have enough players available by game time?

Keith Jackson is an editor for ESPN.com. He can be reached at keith.e.jackson@gmail.com