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|Seriously, does ANYONE watch the Indy 500 anymore?|
Miami versus Florida State
For almost 20 years, this was the definitive rivalry in college football. Now it's as anticipated as the next Luther Campbell album. With Florida's national title win, Miami's refurbishment project and Florida State's disturbing self-esteem issues, the Gators have firmly seized control of the state, and the college sports world.
Steroid use in the NFL
A marquee defensive player fails a steroids test, and the reaction is akin to finding out Lindsay Lohan still can't shake the Tanqueray.
Back in the day, American fans were honored and humbled by Team USA's winning a gold medal, and proud of the players no matter where they finished.
|Bob Huggins returned home to his alma mater this past offseason.|
And yet the NCAA makes "student-athletes" sit out an entire season if they transfer. That makes about as much sense as the Minnesota law that forbids someone to cross state lines with a duck on his/her head. And no, I didn't make that up.
Just three years removed from becoming the first coach to win both an NCAA and NBA title, Brown has gone to the mattresses.
The lovable loser
One day Cubs fans will be less enamored with drunken afternoons at Wrigley and placing blame on a billy goat, and more enthralled by winning. But when they are, the Earth will look something like "28 Weeks Later."
NFL records just aren't as sexy as baseball records. Sure, we know Emmitt Smith is the all-time leading rusher, and that Dan Marino is the all-time leading passer. But those records don't give us the same chills as Hank Aaron's 755 home runs, Pete Rose's 4,256 hits or Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak. When significant baseball records are broken, it's an event that stimulates national conversation. In football, it's a distraction from the next play.
Athletes who rap
Let's hope the abominable athlete-rapper albums of the past have finally encouraged all athletes to stay away from the microphone and 808 machines. They gained false confidence from Shaq's respectable pairing with the Fu-Schnickens, which led to a torrent of horrific albums by people like Roy Jones, Allen Iverson and Tony Parker.
|Artest shockingly didn't get a Grammy nod for his album.|
5. Deion Sanders: "Must Be The Money" should have been registered with Amnesty International as a crime against humanity. The same could also be said about Deion's jheri curl.
4. Cedric Ceballos: His decision to bleach his hair blond during the 1997 season was genius compared to his release of "Nuff Ced" seven years ago.
3. Chris Webber: If I had remembered the "2 Much Drama" album, I would have openly rooted for him to do jail time for the Fab Five fiasco.
2. Ron Artest: Most memorable lyric: "David Stern! Damn, David Stern. I gotta teach you 'bout the ghetto there's some things you should learn."
1. Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I mean K.O.B.E, which was the title of his disaster. It's hard to earn the dubious distinction of making an album that's so bad it's never released. By the way, the next time Tyra Banks starts thinking she's the next Oprah, someone remind her she sang on "K.O.B.E."
The charitable contributions of athletes
Of course they're not irrelevant to the people who are helped. But as much as the public likes to bluster periodically about not being given enough positive news, the lack of interest in those stories proves most people don't care if athletes invoke the spirit of Mother Teresa or not. Carmelo Anthony is the only NBA player in the Giving Back Fund's list of 30 celebrities who made the largest public donations to charities in 2006. Melo, who ranked an impressive eighth, donated $4.2 million to various charities last year. But tattoos, cornrows and 50 Cent's destruction of the NBA are a much bigger story.