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Monday, January 28, 2008
Updated: January 29, 9:59 AM ET
All the Super Bowl news you can't live without

Page 2

If you're tired of the position-by-position breakdown of the Patriots and Giants, you've come to the right place.

We have all the Super Bowl information you know you need.

Super Bowl endorsements
There seems to be a whole lotta endorsing going on in the 2008 presidential election. But what about the Super Bowl? Once again Page 2 gets the answers to the tough and timely questions:

Hillary Clinton endorses the Giants AND Patriots
Kerry Collins endorses Eli Manning
Travis Henry endorses Tom Brady
Mitt Romney endorses Tom Brady's hair
John Edwards endorses Mercury Morris
Pete Rose endorses the over
Michael Vick endorses Grey Ruegamer
Jose Canseco and Victor Conte endorse Rodney Harrison
Conrad Dobler endorses Vince Wilfork
The Pillsbury Doughboy endorses Jared Lorenzen
Dan Quayle endorses Matt Cassel
Former Sen. Fred Thompson endorses Tiki Barber
Dick Vermeil, Terrell Owens and Adam Morrison endorse Manny Wright
Randy Moss endorses Randy Moss


Bill Belichick and Urban Meyer: BFFs
According to this NFL.com article, Bill Belichick and Urban Meyer have developed "an extremely close relationship" and are engaged in a "mutual admiration society."

They swap ideas, critique each other and -- get this -- Belichick gets firsthand info on some of Meyer's draft-eligible players.

Could this mean Bill Belichick is preparing to bring Tim Tebow to New England? Is it possible to improve on perfection?

Belichick better be careful. Perhaps it is better to keep Brady and Tebow on different corners of the country. Get them too close, centralizing quarterback perfection, and you risk creating a black hole of greatness that would pull us all to our deaths.
-- DJ Gallo


More Tom Brady photo analysis
Pictures from the Patriots' arrival in Arizona:

Oh, sweet Lord! He's on fire! Tom Brady's hand is on fire!

No! No! Someone help him! Please! Tom Brady is choking!

Sweet mercy! Robert Kraft's handkerchief is soaked in Tom Brady's blood!

All hope is lost!
-- DJ Gallo


Super Bowl quarterback endorsement-off

Which Super Bowl quarterback has the most marketing appeal?

Tom Brady lends his name and (dreamy) image to, among others: Stetson cologne, Smartwater and Movado. While Eli Manning lends his name and (confused) image to Oreo, Toyota of New Jersey and Citizen Watch. (Ooh! Watch endorsement smackdown!)

Jonah Freedman, who compiles a list of the Top 50 sports endorsers for SI, says Eli would get more deals, except that he: "always has this deer-in-the-headlights look. Even when he's playing."

Well, duh! That deer-in-the-headlights look is part of his commercial appeal.
-- DJ Gallo


Maybe Jeff Feagles is from Detroit Glendale

Looking for a feel-good story at the Super Bowl? Outside of all the prostitutes converging on the scene, 41-year-old Giants punter Jeff Feagles reaching his first Super Bowl might be the best one.

But for all the great things Feagles' teammates and coaches have to say about him, you have to think that, in their heart of hearts, they don't want him to see the field on Sunday even once.

Jerks.
-- DJ Gallo


Elisha Nelson Manning's yearbook dedications

Eli Manning graduated from Isidore Newman School in New Orleans in 1999.

In the Class of '99 yearbook, Eli wrote this bold declaration near the end of his senior farewell:

"Peyt -- We had our fun times, and our serious times (watch out world, you ain't seen nothin' yet.)"

Ahh, high school yearbook memories. I wonder what tales the yearbooks of other Super Bowl contestants might tell.

Tom Brady: "Most Likely To Recede"
Tedy Bruschi: "Best Team Spirit"
Rodney Harrison: "Best Team Spearer"
Wes Welker: "Least Athletic" but also "Scrappiest Hustler"
Jeremy Shockey: "Ass/Clown"
Jared Lorenzen: "Class Couple ... Until We Realized He Was Only One Person"
Grey Ruegamer: "Most Likely To Castrate Sheep With His Teeth"
-- DJ Gallo


Does Bill Belichick have biological weapons?

First Donovan McNabb pukes his way through the waning moments of Super Bowl XXXIX, and now three Giants are laid up with the flu.

UN inspectors have only six days until kickoff.
-- DJ Gallo


Breakfast of champions

If the Giants win the Super Bowl, don't expect guard Grey Ruegamer to credit Wheaties, the "breakfast of champions."

Ruegamer is more of a sheep testes man.

The 6-foot-4, 300-pound Giants veteran told the East Valley Tribune that he helped a neighbor castrate young sheep …with his teeth.

"You grab the forelegs and pin them to the ground, and then you grab the back legs and throw them on their back," Ruegamer said. "[Then] away you go. It's the way the Basques do it."

"You pull them out with your teeth, spit them in a bucket, next one."

"There was beer. Good times. It was worth it."

"The blood on your mustache is the worst part."

So don't expect the Giants to lose any fumbles on Sunday. Grey Ruegamer won't hesitate to come out from under the pile with the ball and blood on his mustache.

You've been warned, Patriots.
-- DJ Gallo


Get to know the New England Patriots

FACT: Randy Moss owns several franchises of Inta Juice, a national juice bar chain.
(possible) FACT: Rodney Harrison owns several franchises of INT Juice, a national HGH bar chain.

FACT: Asante Samuel's first name means "thank you" in Swahili.
(possible) FACT: Bill Belichick's last name essentially means "secret video taping" in English.

FACT: Le Kevin Smith enjoys painting, drawing and photography.
(possible) FACT: Le Kevin Smith regularly greets Tom Brady as he exits the team shower with the words: "I must paint you."

FACT: Vince Wilfork holds the Florida State high school shot put record with a throw of 68 feet.
(possible) FACT: Wilfork's throw came not in a track meet, but a football game, when he hurled the shot at a running back who had broken through the defense. The action resulted in his first of many unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.
-- DJ Gallo