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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
All the Super Bowl news you can't live without

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If you're tired of the position-by-position breakdown of the Patriots and Giants, you've come to the right place.

We have all the Super Bowl information you know you need.

• Super Bowl News: MONDAY | TUESDAY

This day in Super Bowl history

Jan. 30, 2000
Super Bowl XXXIV
St. Louis 23, Tennessee 16

Tennessee receiver Kevin Dyson was stopped one yard short of the end zone as time expired, meaning Dick Vermeil burst into tears of joy instead of tears of sorrow.

Jan. 30, 1994
Super Bowl XXVIII
Dallas 30, Buffalo 13

The Bills lost their fourth consecutive Super Bowl despite leading 13-6 at halftime. Today, one in three children in Africa have their very own "Buffalo Bills -- Super Bowl Champions" T-shirt.

Jan. 30, 1983
Super Bowl XVII
Washington 27, Miami 17

Second-year head coach Joe Gibbs led Washington to its first NFL title since 1942 and became just the latest coach to win a Super Bowl with one quarterback.
-- DJ Gallo

Super Bowl party slate

Hearts and Helmets, 5:30 p.m., The Venue of Scottsdale: Pamela Anderson and Shawn Marion are hosting this party and poker tournament. Tickets are a whopping $1,000 to $5,500, but that includes a free home movie starring Anderson.

Ashlee Simpson Live, 9:00 p.m., Myst: You can't have a high-profile football game without Ashlee Simpson. Tickets for tonight's "performance" range from $75 to $250, but there is a hosted bar and giveaways. Door prizes include Ashlee's old nose, chin and cheeks.

Don't trust camels

A camel has picked the Giants to beat the Patriots.

But be advised: Do not trust camels.

I repeat: Camels can not to be trusted. And I'm not just talking about their misleading toes. These are the animals who willingly carry us deep into the desert, far from water which is the basis of all life. (All the while hording gallons of the life-giving liquid inside their taunting, inaccessible humps.) Camels are basically the Grim Reaper's couriers.

And when they are unable to leave you to die in the desert, they try to lure you in to buy products from the smiling face of their leader, Joe Camel. We all know that he wore his "cool" sunglasses simply to conceal the intent in his eyes.

Now camels are coming for your money. They want you to throw your life savings away on a Super Bowl bet due to the supposed prognosticating abilities of some camel in New Jersey -- a camel who, no doubt, has mob connections.

Well, I -- for one -- will not be fooled. I will not be taken in by their humps, their humps, their lovely camel humps.


(Also, do not trust elephants or orangutans.)
--DJ Gallo

A room with a pew
A Phoenix monastery is renting rooms for the Super Bowl for $250 night, well below the going rate for rooms in the area this week.

"It's a different twist for us in the sense that we've never opened the monastery for an event like the Super Bowl," said Sister Linda of the Benedictine Sisters of Phoenix. "It's just a different clientele than we're accustomed to."

The Sisters do have a few rules, however: no smoking, no rowdy behavior and no drinking.

Everything else, though, is apparently cool. Pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, sloth? Have at 'em.

Fantastic. Remember, there's a reason you can't spell most of "fun" without "n-u-n."
-- DJ Gallo

Get to know … the New England Patriots

FACT: Stephen Gostkowski was 16-2 with a 1.00 ERA in high school.
(possible) FACT: Adam Vinatieri was 17-2 with a 0.99 ERA in high school.

FACT: Junior Seau did not speak English until age 7.
(possible) FACT: Prior to age 7, Seau's only means of communication was expressing his moods via hats.

FACT: Rodney Harrison earned the 2006 Ed Block Courage Award after his teammates voted him the player who best exemplifies the principles of courage and sportsmanship.
(possible) FACT: When Rodney Harrison found out that one player did not vote for him, he broke the plaque over the back of his head.

FACT: Logan Mankins teams with his father to form a prize-winning steer roping team.
(possible) FACT: Once the steer is roped, Mankins castrates it with his teeth.
-- DJ Gallo