Friday, August 15, 2008
Updated: August 19, 1:42 PM ET
Capturing the spirit of the Olympics in pictures
By DJ Gallo
There are 55 languages spoken at the Beijing Olympics. And they say a picture is worth a thousand words. Considering that, below are captions to
21 photos from the opening week of the Olympics, if my math is correct, this column checks in at a hefty 1.115 million words.
I am quite prolific.
• "This would be the proudest moment of my life -- if only I wasn't dressed like this."
• "I'll be John Carlos!" "I'll be Tommie Smith!"
• "You had me at 'bump.'"
• "Flopping for one's country means so much more."
• "I knew that honey pot was a trap."
• "Tell these people to stop laughing at my outie!"
• "What did you expect? You hold the medal ceremony in the morning, I'm going to show up in my bathrobe."
• "They should have had me do the special effects for the Opening
• "It finally clotted! It fin-al-ly clot-teeeeeeeed!"
• "It's OK. You have only brought shame on our entire nation."
• "I feel like there is a bigger world out there somewhere."
• "Hurry! Michael Phelps is gaining on us!"
• "Oh, no! River pirates!"
• "Gimme the character for handball! Yeah!"
• "Oh, how I wish I could un-see that Chinese girl who really sang for the Opening Ceremonies. Her non-perfectly-cuteness sickens me."
• "This is not the arena music I had hoped for."
• "It's time to bring sexy back to water polo."
• "Shark! And it's big!"
• "No audit for you!"
• "Do you realize I curse fluently in 12 different languages?"
• "Finally my glasses are in style!"
DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He also is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book, "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck," is on sale now.