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Monday, November 3, 2008
The Redskins Once Again Control the Presidential Election


Jason Campbell has to know a playbook that is a massive volume, which makes it about 1% as complicated as the current tax code.

The crack ESPN research department was good enough to point out this morning that while politics and corruption (and not in that order, now and forever, amen) tend to get the headlines in Washington, the Redskins rule the place. They also pretty much choose the president.

As they dutifully note: "(The) Redskins host the Steelers on Monday Night Football—which also happens to be Election Day Eve. There have been five previous Presidential Elections during the Redskins existence during which the incumbent was not running for re-election. And as you may have guessed by now, the Redskins will provide us with an answer as to who our next President will be. In years the incumbent is not on the ticket and the Redskins lose their last home game before Election Day, the White House changed parties. When the Redskins win? Well, that's happened only once—in 1988—but the presidency was passed from Ronald Reagan to his Vice President, George Bush. Simply put, Barack Obama supporters should be pulling for the Steelers on Monday, while John McCain fans would be smart to root for the Redskins."

So there you have it. Not only is Jim Zorn the best paid person in Washington—if you don't count illegal lobbyist and slush fund contributions to our esteemed members of the house and senate—but the man holds the fate of a nation in his play-calling hands. Give or take.

We'll see how this all sorts out on Wednesday, at which time Tim Pawlenty and Hillary Clinton begin campaigning against Obama or McCain for 2012! Until then, enjoy Keith Olbermann's massive head screaming at your face.