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Wednesday, November 12, 2008
THE MAG.COM PRESENTS:
ALL WORLD POWER RANKINGS



"Rochelle, Rochelle!" (Yes, that is 50 Cent with Bette.)

WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEST POP CULTURE REFERENCES TO TONYA HARDING, WE'LL GO WITH ROCHELLE, ROCHELLE

[Ed's note: Not sure what All-World Power Rankings is? Please click here.]

Tonya Harding turns 38 today. Put simply, she might be the most ridiculous person in world history. She had someone nail Nancy Kerrigan in the knee at a practice session for the '94 U.S. Figure Skating Championships, went through that whole routine with her laces, has had a series of incidents involving her truck (including one policeman calling her story "very implausible") and also appeared on FOX's Celebrity Boxing against Paula Jones. Jeez. As ya might expect, her life has been referenced in popular culture many times. We now attempt to rank the best attempts at adding humor to what's essentially a tragic tale.

TOP 5
RANK (YESTERDAY) WHAT WHY
1 (14) SEINFELD EPISODE: THE UNDERSTUDY Ha. Rochelle, Rochelle! Here's some video from the episode. This is either the best sports reference the show ever did, or second to "The Phantom Spitter." (Here are a few other options for that title.)
2 (410) SIMPSONS EPISODE: TEAM HOMER Moe tries to knock Mr. Burns off Homer's bowling team by bashing him in the knee, but the hit actually cures his arthritis.
3 (21) ATTACK OF THE 5'2" WOMAN Julie Brown (remember her?!?) plays "Tonya Hardly." Ha. (She also spoofs "Lenora Babbitt.")
4 (127) WEIRD AL YANKOVIC "HEADLINE NEWS" SONG "Once there was this girl who swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion…" The song is to the tune of Crash Test Dummies' "Mmm Mmm Mmm."
5 (899) "TONYA TWIRLS" BY LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III Just watch.

HONORABLE MENTION
RANK (YESTERDAY) WHAT WHY
18 (144) IN LIVING COLOR BASKETBALL SKETCH Basic premise: a guy tries to set the world record for most consecutive shots. A Harding lookalike roller skates on the court and clubs his knee, ending his dream. If you're into downloading things, you can grab the clip here.
28 (701) "TONYA AND NANCY: THE OPERA" It was actually produced in May '06 by Tufts University. There was also a rock opera version in 2008 on the west coast, apparently attended by Harding herself. Info here!

RISING AND FALLING
MOVEMENT WHAT
DEMOCRATIC POLITICS! ("The Tonya Harding Option")
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR X (The other Simpsons parody was better.)