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Monday, July 27, 2009
Epilogues


As more ammo for you, the reader, to lob at me thru scathing emails, I offer this extension of the column about the 10 greatest sporting events you must see live before you die:

Events that Many of You Noticed Were Not on the List and Why:

1) The Super Bowl. It's too hyped, too over produced and crammed with too many people who have absolutely nothing to do with football to make any top-10 list. Unless you really think Super Bowl weekend is the place to stage the premier of Barbershop 2, which actually happened. Half the celebs and a third of the corporate suits at it can't name a single player on either team. Most people leave Saturday. The worm now officially eats the bird.

2) The World Series. Because baseball is so greedy, the World Series now often doesn't end until Halloween, which means you find yourself sitting in Busch stadium around Nov. 1, freezing your redbird off, not really caring who beats whom, just hoping you can get out of there before your tongue sticks permanently to your frozen beer.

3) The Olympics. They're just much, much, much better on TV. Any Olympics. On TV, the men's ski jumping is 30 seconds away from the women's figure skating. In real life, it's two overpriced tickets, four Tylenol and a three-hour bus ride with a Japanese photographer asleep on your shoulder the whole way. Fun for a weekend, but then go home and watch it on your plasma.

4) The BCS Championship Game. Until we get a playoff, it's a pointless exercise, like covering a Cuban election.

5) Soccer. I've had hundreds of emails telling me I'm despicable for not picking Barca v. Real Madrid (Spain); Boca Juniors v. River Plate (Buenos Aires); and Rangers F.C. v. Celtic F.C. (Glasgow), along with a few hundred other rivalries in The Beautiful Fake an Injury Like Your Achilles Just Snapped Game. One guy wrote: "River-Boca fans shoot each other on the streets!" Whoa, cool! Can you get me two up front?

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