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Thursday, April 8, 2010
Updated: April 9, 2:38 PM ET
Too Short For A Column


Joe Mauer may have just signed a $184 million deal with the Minnesota Twins, but he just cost ESPN $106.

For a rollicking "Homecoming with Rick Reilly" episode (Saturday, on ABC, 4 p.m. ET and Monday on ESPN, 8 p.m. ET), we asked Mauer to re-create the old "squish-ball" games he and his brothers played growing up in their small St. Paul, Minn., backyard.

We shot this in winter, so it was 5 below out, but Mauer got his brothers out there anyway. They couldn't find a squish ball, but they found an old rubber one in the garage. The left-handed Joe stood on a cement patio square that served as home plate all those years.

On the very first pitch, Mauer smashed a line drive into the neighbor's 3-foot-by-3-foot garage window.

Smash, gasp, tinkling of glass.

All of a sudden, Joe Mauer was 8 years old again. You haven't lived until you've seen a three-time batting champion look like he wanted to go hide in the basement.

We went over to see how bad it was when the neighbor herself, Kjersti Duncan, drove up. "Uh, sorry," Mauer said, staring at his shoes. "We, uh, we had a little accident."

It wound up costing the show $106.88. She used Gopher Glass Repair.

You can't make this stuff up.

Homecoming: Joe Mauer breaks window Video

See all of Rick Reilly's Too Short for a Column. More random mind dumps from the brain of Rick Reilly. Go fish! Be sure to check out Rick's Life of Reilly.