M.I. Evil? still looking for first win

9/18/2009 - NFL

The bad news for M.I. Evil? Yes I Am was a tough nine-point loss to Scott Ian's Mean Machine in Week 5 that kept Mike Inez's squad the only winless team in the Alice in Chains & Friends Charity Fantasy Football League.

The good news is M.I. Evil? Yes I Am this week gets to face 1-4 Team Berry, which seems to draw out the best results in opponents with a league-high 529 points against this season.

Meanwhile at the upper end of the standings, Zakk Wylde Doom Crew Inc. (5-0) continued to roll with an 86-53 victory over Kenny Aronoff's Team 9 (1-4), prompting Wylde to ask "Kenny Aronoff are you even here?" on the league message board on Monday.

But Kenny Wayne Shepherd's KWS Domination is targeting Wylde's Gibson Signature Bullseye and has plans to close the gap on the Doom Crew: "This season has been interesting for sure. I've been watching everyone and let's just say I have my sights set on someone … I won't mention any names …"

Here are some other posts, with links to photos, taken from the league's message board:

Zakk Wylde Doom Crew Inc.
Re: MEET ZAKK WYLDE … i think
Posted: Oct 12, 12:51 PM

In Fantasy Football, it's a long season, injuries happen and some injuries can take the No. 1 team down. … Hopefully it doesn't happen to us!!!!!!! So till then … all of you suckers can s--- it!!!!!! And believe you me -- I see you in the rearview KWS Domination, you have a strong team. Hopefully injuries riddle your team soon. Skank, my brother from another mother I wish you put Winslow in there, just to smack around the rookie you played a lil bit. … Matt Willig … Gore is hurt! T.O. and McGahee didn't show up, but they will have strong contests in weeks ahead!!! My brother Duff -- Matt Ryan had a great game against 49ers defense adn C. Johnson and Pierre Garcon scored zero points for you!!!! Team Berry you do not bench Wes Welker for D. Mason!!! Vinny Paul … Cowboys suck, hate em, hate em!!!! Kenny Aronoff Are you even here?

Scott Ian I'm sure you have a little pep in you step after yesterday strong showing. Just watch where you step fella!!! I'm sure some of you will be hard at work come waiver wire time. … I'll be in New Orleans this weekend watching my beloved New York Football Giants!!!! Till then look forward to Week 6.

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Re: MEET ZAKK WYLDE …. i think
Posted: Oct 12, 5:33 PM
That's more like it!!!!!! now I'm feeling my brother. Giants look good , Seahawks finally woke up and the Steelers barely beat the lowly Lions. Pretty good week overall. in spite of my team's weak showing so far I plan on throwing some wrenches in the works for some of you fellas. May the best man win … later Zakk. Be well
Father Cantrell

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 4:00 AM
All right you monkeys, I'm dropping Favre to the wire this week so you have two days to make me an offer for a decent QB, otherwise you can take your chances on trying to pick him up. ANYONE OUT THERE ?!?!?!?.

Scott Ian Mean Machine
Posted: Oct 13, 6:55 PM
Just looking for a No. 2 receiver.

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 8:40 PM
Somehow I'm the only one not to knock off Berry this year. Gotta say I'm very proud of you boys. You've been sitting in warm milk for too long Matthew … gettin a little soft. Keep it up fellas.

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 8:47 PM
Hey Kenny you may want to pull this DVD off the shelf and put some time in, YOU'RE LOSING YOUR CHOPS. get in the game mang , put some petite marshmallows in your Swiss miss cocoa and get to work

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 9:02 PM
Scott is enlisting the help of a few friends this week to take down Vinnie … by Flava Flav's clock it's time to step it up.

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 9:30 PM

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 10:53 PM

Calabasas Clueless
Posted: Oct 14, 4:06 PM

That looks like a fat kid from the short bus down the road. If you look closely in the folds of my face, you can see the bacon, sausage hashbrowns and two orders of chocolate chip pancakes I ate for breakfast at IHOP that morning. OH YEAH, that's how I used to roll!!!

JC Aroma of Tacoma
Posted: Oct 13, 10:56 PM
Mike is so depressed about his beloved Raiders he has officially picked another team to root for, GO HAWKS!!!! It's a fact Mike: Your Raiders stink, unfortunately they have a better record than you this year. You might want to call AL DAVIS up and ask him how he got that win … could work?!?!

M.I. Evil? Yes I Am
Posted: Oct 15, 4:45 AM
That piece of s--- jersey burned my skin when I wore it!!

Posted: Oct 15, 3:58 PM
This is real comedy!!!!!

Each participant in the Alice in Chains & Friends Charity Fantasy Football League will put up one valuable item for auction by the end of the season. The league champion will designate which charity receives the auction's proceeds. More details on the auction will be announced in the coming weeks.

Weekly updates on the Alice in Chains & Friends Charity Fantasy Football League, trash talk and interviews with the owners will be published on ESPN.com's The Life section throughout the season. Members of the league also will drop by SportsNation for occasional chats.

Here are the standings after Week 5, with a look ahead to this weekend's matchups (mouse over the photos for bios of the participants):

Alice in Chains & Friends Charity Fantasy Football League Standings

  • Kenny Wayne Shepherd
    Place of birth: Shreveport, La. Age: 32 Fantasy football experience: Rookie Favorite team: Indianapolis Colts

    Personal: Shepherd cut his musical teeth opening for The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Bob Dylan, The Eagles and Van Halen.

  • Jerry Cantrell

    Place of birth: Tacoma, Wash. Age: 43 Fantasy football experience: 5 years Favorite team: Seattle Seahawks/Pittsburgh Steelers

    Personal: Lead guitarist Cantrell's legacy with Alice In Chains includes 14 million albums sold, 19 Top 40 singles and six Grammy nominations.

  • Scott Ian

    Place of birth: New York Age: 45 Fantasy football experience: Rookie Favorite team: New York Giants

    Personal: When Ian isn't playing guitar for Anthrax, he's schooling amateurs at the poker table.

  • Vinnie Paul

    Place of birth: Abilene, Texas Age: 45 Fantasy football experience: 10 years Favorite team: Dallas Cowboys

    Personal: Paul, who formed Pantera with his late brother Dimebag Darrell, plays drums the way Ray Lewis hits people. In other words, hard.

  • Zakk Wylde
    Place of birth: Bayonne, N.J. Age: 42 Favorite team: New York Giants

    Personal: Wylde landed the job of lead guitarist and co-songwriter for Ozzy Osbourne at the age of 19 and later founded Black Label Society.

  • Kenny Aronoff

    Place of birth: Albany, N.Y. Age: 56 Fantasy football experience: 3 years Favorite team: Indianapolis Colts

    Personal: Aronoff has played drums for a who's who of rock legends, including Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Lynyrd Skynyrd and many more.

  • Matt Willig
    Place of birth: Whittier, Calif. Age: 40 Fantasy football experience: 0 years Favorite team: No favorite, but "I do like to watch the Carolina Panthers every Sunday, especially to watch my boy, [left tackle] Jordan Gross, play."

    Personal: One of two non-musicians in the league, Willig spent 12 years in the NFL with six different teams.

  • Duff McKagan
    Place of birth: Seattle Age: 45 Fantasy football experience: Rookie Favorite team: Seattle Seahawks

    Personal: Before playing bass for Velvet Revolver, McKagan spent 13 years with Guns 'N' Roses, so he's ready for anything.

  • Mike Inez
    Place of birth: San Fernando, Calif. Age: 43

    Personal: Before playing bass guitar for Alice In Chains, Inez was rocking arenas with Ozzy Osbourne.

  • Matthew Berry
    Place of birth: Denver Age: "Late 30s" Fantasy football experience: 17 years Favorite team: Washington Redskins

    Personal: Berry, who wouldn't disclose any musical talents, is ESPN.com's Talented Mr. Roto and a five-time award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers Association.