ESPN Olympic Sports

TURIN, Italy -- The week that was ended with two gold medals that weren't. That's not all that bad, because a wacky snowboarder and some scrappy Swedes at least gave America something to talk about other than Bode Miller's party habits and Johnny Weir's bus schedule.

The Olympics were beginning to get a bit boring when Lindsey Jacobellis had an Olympic moment unlike any other. At least she lost her gold quickly; the same can't be said for the U.S. women's hockey team.

Missing some Olympic moments? For those who can't watch the 24 1/2 hours a day NBC is devoting to the games, here's a recap of the best and worst so far:

BEST REASON TO HIDE IN THE WOODS -- Jacobellis is a snowboarder. Enough said. She had the gold medal on snowboardcross wrapped up, only to blow it on a hotdog move. In true snowboard culture, though, she'll likely turn into a celebrated hero and the endorsements will follow. Wherever she goes, Jacobellis can tell everyone, "Dude, I was trying to do an ancillary stoke and beefed. I felt wack, like a botwoker."

BIGGEST UPSET -- Do you believe in miracles Swedish style? The United States and Canada had lost to each other but to no one else in either the Olympics or world hockey championships since international competition began in 1990. That changed Friday when Sweden beat the United States 3-2. In case Janet Gretzky was wondering, the U.S. team was a prohibitive 4½-goal favorite.

BEST WIPEOUTS -- There's a reason they keep a medical helicopter next to the downhill course. It's the same reason television loves the race. People like to watch other people crash and, between the downhill and the luge, there was more flopping on ice this week than in a Seattle fish market.

BEST NEW SPORT -- Snowboardcross by a wipeout. It's NASCAR on ice, motocross on boards. Better yet there's no judging, which means first one to the finish really does win.

BIGGEST BUST -- Bode Miller takes this one, his first win of the week. This guy was on more magazine covers than Britney Spears in the weeks leading up to the games, but so far has been shut out in two events. Give Miller some style points, though, for being seen pounding down shots and beers up in the mountains between races. Placing second here were the Curl Girls, the American curlers who had a great name but, as it turns out, not much game.

WORST NEW SPORT -- Team pursuit. What were the game inventors thinking when they met in a secret room deep inside IOC headquarters to dream up this speedskating sport? You win if your third place guy crosses the line before their third place guy? And you do it on opposite sides of the track? Goofy.

BEST CHALLENGE TO AMERICAN IDOL -- NBC is paying more than $600 million to televise the games, and still it gets squashed by amateurs trying to sing. Here's a suggestion: Bring Yoko Ono back for a few nights and have her loudly screech something about imagining peace again like she did in the opening ceremony. Give her a trip to Hollywood if she does it well enough. It seems to work on that other network.

BEST TEAMMATES NOT TO HAVE -- Speedskater Shani Davis refused to skate in the team pursuit and ruined Chad Hedrick's chances at five medals. Todd Lodwick went one better, blasting teammate Carl Van Loan's performance in the Nordic Combined, where the United States finished seventh.

"We've got one guy way out of shape and picked for the team," Lodwick said. "(Van Loan's) the weakest link."

Oh, yeah, well take this, sniffed Van Loan: "Todd is not a team player and never has been. He has threatened not to ski this event because of selfish reasons."

BEST REASON TO STAY IN A HOTEL -- Johnny Weir thought his bed in the athletes' village was too hard, and his floor too dirty. Worse yet, there was no room service and no concierge to read the bus schedule. Weir couldn't do it himself, and said it cost him a figure skating medal. Still, he learned something from his first Olympics: "I learned I definitely want to stay in a hotel," he said.

BEST APOLOGY -- Russian star biathlete Olga Pyleva, after losing her silver medal and being thrown out of the Olympics for doping: "I am sorry that I shattered my reputation. Now I am sure that international athletes will change their opinion about me."

BEST LINE AFTER WINNING: "At the start I was thinking, 'Do it! Do it! I have to attack! Attack!' All the way, I felt like I was going fast. But when I saw my time, I thought, 'Grandiose!" -- France's Antoine Deneriaz, after winning the men's downhill.

BEST LINE AFTER LOSING: "It would have taken a hurricane wind to get me into first." -- Bode Miller, after failing to medal in the downhill.

And, finally, the best surprise of all. The games are nearly halfway through and there hasn't been a hint of a scandal yet.

Don't get too excited, though. There's plenty of figure skating yet to come.

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Tim Dahlberg is a national sports columnist for The Associated Press. Write to him at tdahlberg@ap.org

Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press

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