Reporting from ... The red carpet at The 'NEXT' Party

Low-level Magazine minions were on the scene Friday night of Super Bowl to produce a red carpet video of the proceedings. While we were there, we (to paraphrase Answer Guy) sought the flashbulb of truth in the superficial garden of confusion. Here's what we came across:

The red carpet was an interesting scene, and by "interesting," we mean "we hadn't been to one before. (We also were working all week, so our social lives consisted mainly of the airport hotel bar, best known for their "Pita Productions" of murder mystery dinner theater on Saturday nights. We missed out, FYI).

Spike Lee arrived first, then left within 15 minutes. Next up was Jared from the omnipresent Subway commercials, followed by Jerry Porter. When the Magazine spoke with Porter, he was careful to refer to himself as "not of the Oakland Raiders." We got it.

With the paparazzi groaning over the lame turnout, a red carpet rep announced to us all: "Chris Paul approaching." We rushed the rope separating us from celebrity like Jay Alford in Tom Brady's grill, but were met with bitter disappointment: It was emerging rapper Chris Ball, not superstar Hornets PG Chris Paul. A few minutes later, The Arizona Republic reporter to our right was summoned away by more pressing business: "Rumor is Gisele just landed at the Phoenix airport."

Finally, party performer Ludacris arrived, about 10 feet behind (coincidence, we assume) "Office Linebacker" Terry Tate. Tate, decked to the nines in a pink shirt and grey suit that would make Takeo Spikes blush, exchanged an awkward greeting with the Atlanta-based rapper (it's captured in the video piece you just saw!). When Ludacris finally rolled up to our spot on the carpet, we asked him which of his ditties the Giants should be listening to for motivation before the game.

His answer, simple yet beautiful: "Move b*tch, get out the way."

After a steady stream of athletesMark Teixeira, Braylon Edwards, Josh McCown, DeAngelo Halland ex-athletes (Carl Banks, Doug Williams) rolled through, the party's other headliner, Ciara, hit the carpet. Despite the fact that it was 40 degrees outside (Weren't we supposed to spend the whole week discussing how hot it was? Weren't we promised that?), Ciara was wearing clothing that covered approximately 35 percent of her body. She was in high spirits, though, telling us how much she enjoyed ESPN and even agreeing to open up that video piece you just watched. She noted her favorite "pump-up" song in her arsenal as "Get Up," although we remain partial to "Like a Boy."

Inside the party, we saw a few who had skipped the red carpet scene, including our man Bill Simmons. The Corona stations, which party literature explicitly made clear would be "manned by beautiful women," lived up to their billingalthough in order to get that video piece online by Saturday morning, we didn't imbibe. If we had, we might have included a soundbyte from Terry Tate. And what would you think of us then?

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