YOUR 8 A.M.

Screw the Math:
The Detroit Pistons crushed the Phoenix Suns yesterday to the tune of 116-86 or roughly 3.2 points for every pound gained by swapping Shawn Marion (230) for Shaquille O'Neal (325).

Oddities:
Odds on … what the bass talked about this weekend in Greenville, South Carolina:
(100 to 1) "Nah, I heard the television cameras are here because Steve Spurrier signed some kid who lives by the lake."
(12 to 1) "Call Chuck! There's another buffet of food by this dock! Surely nothing bad will come of it!"
(Even) "Anybody seen Chuck?"

Word of the Day:
Foreboding
Think you know why? Give us a shout at editor@espnthemag.com. We might just make it worth your while.

TODAY ON ESPNTHEMAG.COM
Check back later for Jorge Aranguré Jr.'s report from Spring Training, a post Oscars "Six Clicks" and, of course, the best time drain on the web: Lunch Links. And we might just throw in some other stuff … if you're good.

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