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THE ULTIMATE RACE

by Luke Cyphers


Getty Images

Getty Images

WHICH WILL END THE WORLD FIRST: GLOBAL WARMING OR PEAK OIL?

There are two schools of thought on how civilization will destroy itself: Global Warming or Peak Oil. We thought it might be fun to run the two doomsday scenarios head to head, based on a mostly random reading of current events. Hey, we like competition.

THIS WEEK: THE BIG FELLA WEIGHS IN

All the talk the past few weeks has centered on the Sun's radical recent change: a move that slowed everything down and altered the short-term picture.
      No, not the Shaq trade!
      We're referring to the dearth of sunspot activity in recent months , which some scientists think has led to recent bitter cold in the Arctic , including Canada (so yes, there is a Steve Nash connection). It's been great for skiers, and our personal faves, ice fishermen , but not so great, say skeptics, for the Goreacle.
      Global Warming fans, though, are biding their time. Yes, January was cold enough to re-freeze some Arctic ice, but that'll melt down like a classic Cubs team come August. And when sunspot activity resumes in a year or three , look out! The double whammy of increased solar activity and ever-building greenhouse gases will be like college football in the early part of the century, when all those years of good USC recruits suddenly jelled at the end of Carson Palmer's senior season. And started a dynasty!
      Only problem is, this is a weekly poll, where there's pressure to win now. And light, sweet crude is still setting price records the way Sergei Bubka used to raise the pole vault mark: this week oil topped $102 a barrel.

THE WINNER?
Peak Oil takes the week, and is off to a 2-0 start!

WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU, THE FAN:
      Evidently, spring training didn't get the sunspot memo. Grapefruit League hub Orlando will be 75 and sunny this weekend, right on schedule for this time of year. Not to be outdone, Cactus counterpart Phoenix is looking at 82 tomorrow, 10 degrees above normal.
      May we suggest a bottle of SPF-40, a Sharpie and some memorabilia to sign? Give A-Rod a respite from John Rocker questions. Help the Twins cope with the loss of Johan and Torii. Or at least learn the new guys' names. Take a road trip, for St. Pete's sake, while there's still gas!

PREVIOUSLY IN THE ULTIMATE RACE: POLAR BEARS AND NASCAR!



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