YOUR 8 A.M.

QUESTIONS WE WON'T GET TO ASK TODAY:
Coach K:
After breaking down Duke's victory last night does it feel good to finally bring the team back to its glory days?
O.J. Mayo:
Is that a pair of NBA socks in your pocket or are you just happy to be done with college?
Boston Celtics
With the trademarking frenzy will you guys be reserving "Taming the Texas Triangle"?


ODDITIES:
Odds on...what the redacted lines from the recent State Department Olympic fact sheet for athletes really said:
(537 to 1) "Keep a mindful watch on your iPods. We just don't think the Chinese government is ready for Lil' Jon yet"
(211 to 1) "Do not piss off any important locals. They're buying up all our debt. You think our economy sucks now? Go ahead and spit on a Shanghai businessman."
(EVEN) "No, there will not be a sex-workers cooperative in effect in Beijing. You're thinking of the 2010 Vancouver Games."

SCREW THE MATH
In the first round of the tournament last night, if Mississippi Valley State and Winthrop joined forces to add their total scoring together, they still would have been two points shy of beating UCLA.

TODAY ON ESPNTHEMAG.COM
We've got more Madness-related content goodness, including a Giant Killers update (people love this!), 32 more fun facts about today's 16 games, ESPN The Mag editor's blog, Jason Taylor's blog from Dancing with the Stars and so much more!

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