PRESIDENTIAL FANTASY LEAGUE ... TEAM CLINTON

by Max Klinger

Team Hillary's biggest strength might be the diversity of personalities stumping for her. She's got a commissioner, three hall of famers, two owners, a TV personality, a rapper and a barbershop owner. In short, she's got the Big Four sports covered. Plus, she's got supporters from every age demographic. That kind of depth will be tough to beat. For a recap of the PFL's Rules click here.
Let's take a look at the team.

KEEPERS:

Magic Johnson
Magic owns a chain of several movie theaters and and workout clubs. He's also a prominent HIV activist, which may help Hillary in the primaries, but could hurt her in the general election. Bonus: he grew up and played college ball in Michigan, which could turn into an election hot spot if their delegate votes are counted. Also, lest we forget, Magic (with Bird) pretty much elevated the NBA from a fourth-rate league to an entertainment juggernaut with his huge off-court personality and dynamic play. If he can bring that kind of flash to Hillary's campaign, she may yet prove that she's not the wet blanket many think she is.

Billie Jean King
A fighter (like Hillary), King once beat former Wimbledon men's champ Bobby Riggs in the famous "Battle of the Sexes". Whether voters agree with her progressive views, they have tremendous respect for Billie Jean the icon. A sworn enemy of the establishment, King's convictions could sway undecideds who suspect Hillary is too much of an insider. King is a top prospect for Team Clinton. We're talking about one of Time Magazine's "100 Most Important People of the 20th Century", and that's tough to beat.

Larry Lucchino
If George Steinnbrenner (see below) represents the "evil empire" (as Lucchino once said) then the Red Sox president and CEO represents the Allies. It was under Lucchino's watch that Boston finally brought a World Series title back to Boston after 86 years. And while Massachusetts has already cast its votes, having a support base outside of her home state can't be underestimated in a general election scenario.

Mario Lemieux
Lemieux can really get out the vote in Pittsburgh. After a twenty-year career and the deal he brokered with community leaders for an arena that will keep the Penguins in Pittsburgh for 30 years, he's considered a founding father of the city. And with Pennsylvania looming as a make it or break it primary (188 delegates on April 22nd) Hillary will look to Super Mario to swing some critical votes with his straight-talk, integrity and awesome hair. We all know Hillary does well with Hispanics, but the French-Canadian vote is still up for grabs. We're thinking Lemieux can be a silver bullet in this demo. And if the Pens win the Stanley that's just a bonus.

SLEEPERS:

50 Cent*
This may seem like an unlikely alliance, but look deeper. They both call New York home, they both have a weakness for color-coordinated outfits and they're both infamous for heavy-handed retaliation against those who've crossed them. 50 Centavos also represents an oft-overlooked voting block: Americans who sell drugs, have been shot or who've had to engage in some dirty business to make ends meet. Plus, Fiddy says his name is a metaphor for change, and Hillary's been trying to steal Obama's change mojo since Iowa.
(*He's not an athlete? Maybe not. But he does have his own shoe. He counts.)

George Steinbrenner
The Boss gave $2,800 to Hillary in October after decades of staunch GOP support (he supported W, and in the '70s was convicted of illegally giving money to Nixon before being pardoned by Reagan). If Roger Goodell is the most powerful man in sports, Steinbrenner is definitely the most feared. And Hillary knows that fear breeds respect. Some say that he's past his prime, but they underestimate George's influence. Look for plenty of press this summer as Steinbrenner hosts the All Star game at Yankee Stadium.

DRAGS:

Rodney Peete
Even though Peete played in Detroit, Dallas, DC, Oakland and Charlotte, we doubt fans in those cities remember him with the kind of fondness they do in Los Angeles (where he was a QB and 3rd baseman at USC). We¹re not so sure how much pull he has outside of SoCal, though. This is bad news, as Hillary already has tremendous support in Tinseltown (almost a third of her total Calif. votes came from L.A.) which stems more from her cozy relationships with Hollywood then from Peete¹s endorsement.

Alonzo Mourning
How could the seven-time All Star help Hillary? Well, he could stand next to Obama, so the world can see just how small his muscles really are. More likely, Alonzo can use his do-gooder status. In 2006, he won the NBA,s Community Assist award and over a 10-year period he has raised more than $6 mil. for various charities. Unfortunately his name recognition may not be as high as some players on the roster. That said, Zo owns a barbershop, Cutz, in Miami and will use the spot to get Hil's message out and possibly steal back a few of the NBA votes now going to Obama.

David Stern
Stern has given $958,760 to Democratic candidates since 1984, including two $2,800 checks to Hillary. But the Commish's endorsement is tricky. While he represents the NBA, which is all youth and hip hop energy (that¹s Barack's kitchen), he is also its authoritarian overlord. His controversial dress code and handling of the league's misconduct issues have rubbed many the wrong way. And we're not even going to mention the new ball fiasco. Hillary will take his money, but don't look for him on the campaign trail.

Got an issue with the way we're sizing them up? Something we missed? Got an idea for the rules? Send us your thoughts: editor.espnmag@gmail.com.

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