THE MAG.COM'S DAILY OMNIPOTENCE INDEX

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Dickie V has left the building.

In the world according to us, all roads intersect where ours begins. But there is a hierarchy. … Daily!

Tonight we will crown a champion of NCAA hoops. But neither Kansas nor Memphis makes our list of the five most important pieces of sports culture in the world right now, according to us. We'll have a new list every day, so don't worry, Tigers and Jayhawks, there's always tomorrow.

1. DIAPER DANDIES — The best-known (and most often used) phrase in Dickie V's vast lexicon, it will go to the college basketball Hall of Fame with Mr. Vitale, after his election today. Vitale's new status should go a long way toward keeping Bob Knight from throttling him on the air. Members respect members.


2. TIBET — We're not sending our Army to help, peaceable mountain kingdom (we're a little tied up elsewhere) but just watch us make the scene in San Fran! That town is freaksville, man!


3. PATERNITY LEAVE — The Sonics' Damien Wilkins misses two games to attend the birth of his first son. "It's still hard to believe that somebody is going to call me daddy," he told the Seattle Times. Aw, the sweet innocence of the pro baller.


4. GOOD HAIR — Is there any other way to explain the beautifully-dyed Self's triumph over the brillo pad gray Williams, or L.A. Looks Man of the Year Calipari's over Costanza clone Howland?


5. AMERICAN ENGINEERING — Back in the 1970's, the East Germans corned the market in Olympic performance. It just came with a downside, like five o'clock shadow on their female athletes. Now America, with cyclist Tammy Thomas as the first BALCO customer set to do time, has finally caught up. USA! USA!

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