THE ULTIMATE RACE

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WHICH WILL END THE WORLD FIRST: GLOBAL WARMING OR PEAK OIL?

We thought it might be fun to run the two doomsday scenarios head to head, based on a mostly random reading of current events. What can we say? We like competition.

THIS WEEK: MONEYBALL!
After last week's lackluster performances, the two big dogs flat got after it this week, like the No. 1 seeds they are. Al Gore shook off a slump and tried to take his fight against Global Warming to new level, laying down $300 million for an ad campaign. GW had other ideas, continuing its campaign of drought and hunger. Not to be outdone, Peak Oil put its own spin on food shortages, then pulled out its trump card, sending light sweet crude to $111 a barrel and gas prices ever upward. In a week marked by overtime thrillers, PO wins a classic and increases its overall lead to 5-3.

WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU, THE FAN:
"How could he?" the Kansas fans cried. How could Bill Self win a title for our hallowed hoops halls, then think about throwing us overboard for … Oklahoma State? A wrestling school!

We have three words for you: T. Boone. Pickens. Doesn't matter that T isn't really a word. Pickens is so rich, he doesn't care. Know why? Peak Oil, that's why! Pickens made money on an oil boom, then made more money on an oil bust by selling short, and finally, hitched another ride on the money train by gobbling up energy futures right before they soared.

He's invested some of that hard-earned speculation—$165 million, so far—on his favorite all-time sports teams, the Oklahoma State University Cowboys. Lots of petroleum barons buy into sports: Jerry Jones owns another pro team called the Cowboys. Russian energy tycoon Alexander Medvedev wants to start a hockey league to compete with the NHL. And some college football coaches are kinda oily. But Pickens is captain of the Oilers; he's declared that the world has hit Peak Oil, and one of his closest rich-guy partners, Richard Rainwater, is preparing for the coming end times by raising his own food. But looming doom doesn't stop Pickens from loving sports. He was willing to unload millions to bring Self to Stillwater.

Ultimately, Self decided to stay at Kansas. But be warned, coach. All that Jayhawk tradition and $4 will only get you one gallon of gas this summer. One day soon, Boone's Boys will be winning crowns and eating like kings—from his buddy Rainwater's greenhouses.

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS:
Interestingly, there are people out there who would prefer that civilization not end, and actually want to extend the race between runaway climate change and inevitable oil depletion. Weird, huh? But we like overtime. So in the interest of fairness, the Ultimate Race has decided to give these "outliers," who talk about things like alternative energy and conservation, their due. This week, we salute another OSU that is not Oregon State—The Ohio State University, which had an online teach-in about our favorite topics. Check it out.

PREVIOUSLY IN THE ULTIMATE RACE:

• BREAK IN THE ACTION
• THE CARBON COMEBACK
• SPRUNG!
• HAILE UNLIKELY
• HUGO A GO GO
• SHAQ WEIGHS IN
• THE STARTING LINE

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