REPORTING FROM ... THE WACHOVIA CHAMPIONSHIP IN CHARLOTTE, NC.

Ryan McGee

Indisputable evidence that Jim Furyk is better than you.

The next time your history professor tries to tell you that the old medieval social class system is a thing of the past, take him to a PGA tournament. From locker allocation to hotel accommodations to parking spot location, every week on tour is a five-day sorting out of somebodies and nobodies.

"It is a little like high school," says 2007 Masters champ Zach Johnson. "It's totally unfair. The supposed cool kids get all the good stuff and then everybody else gets what's left over."

It wasn't so long ago that Johnson was sharing a hotel room with other lower tier no-names to save cash. This weekend he and the other big dogs are sleeping in suites paid for by the tourney title sponsor, complete with personalized hand-stitched pillow covers and Academy Award-type gift baskets, personalized to each family member's likes and dislikes.

Parking spots (filled by courtesy cars provided to each golfer by a local Mercedes dealership) are doled out in the following order: former Wachovia champs, winners of majors, world rankings and whoever is left over. Since defending champ Tiger Woods is out with a bum knee, '06 winner Jim Furyk has the parking lot pole position, followed by fellow winners Vijay Singh and David Toms. On Wednesday morning, '07 Q-School champion Frank Lickliter II's vehicle was parked between the first aid tent and the truck that sucks out the portable toilets.

Even the Pro-Am pairings are a grown-up game of playground picks. One year ago some Charlotte Bobcats exec named M.J. played 18 with Woods. On Wednesday, Wachovia CEO Ken Thompson teed off with Johnson at 9:09 am with a grin so big he looked like a Muppet. Three years ago Johnson wasn't even invited to play on Wednesday.

"Because I was right there struggling to make it about ten minutes ago, I do feel guilty now about being so taken care of," Johnson says. "But I sure don't want to go back to sleeping in my car again."

Especially if that car is sitting next to the Port-A-Johns.

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