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FIVE CLICKS

by Ted Bauer and the End of the Internet Division

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"Is this where Weekend at Bernie's was filmed?"


Normally on Mondays, we run a little thing called Six Clicks. We start with a sporting concept and try to see where the Internet can take us if we keep clicking. It's illuminating! Because today is Cinco De Mayo, and we didn't feel like another Chad Johnson-related piece , we decided to turn Six Clicks into Five Clicks. Get it? Cinco? Clever. We're gonna start with Cinco De Mayo itself and see where it leads.

Cinco De Mayo:
In the Wikipedia entry for Cinco De Mayo, under "Elsewhere," it's noted that a sky-diving club near Vancouver holds a "Cinco De Mayo Skydiving Boogie" every year. It's true; we looked it up!


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Cinco De Mayo Skydiving Boogie:
Their website is pretty intense; there's also a "Northwest Canada Boogie" at the beginning of August. Sweet, we're going. The organizer of the thing is named Roger Ponce De Leon. That's a cool name and it gave us a vague flashback to sixth grade history, so we decided to look up Ponce De Leon.






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Ponce De Leon:
Oh yeah. He was the guy associated with the Fountain of Youth!







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Fountain of Youth:
The legend of the Fountain of Youth indicates that it's in St. Augustine, FL, where De Leon initially landed (he was the only European explorer to find Florida). However, magician David Copperfield claims that the Fountain of Youth is on a string of islands in the Bahamas he purchased for $50 million a few years back. Wait, what? Copperfield has that kind of coin?





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David Copperfield:
(Apparently he does. He made $57 million last year, good for the 10th overall celebrity spot according to Forbes). More bizarre: the dude has a Library of Congress Living Legend award. WHAT?




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Library of Congress Living Legend Award:
OK, this distinction is weird. Among the others that have 'em: Beverly Cleary, Big Bird and, uh, Mark McGwire. Awkward. Interestingly enough (FULL CIRCLE ALERT!), when McGwire retired in 2001, he gave an exclusive interview to ESPN's Rich Eisen, then headed for Mexico. Then Cardinals GM Walt Jocketty had trouble reaching him! Ah, Mexico. A place for reflection, and Dos Equis.



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