THE MORNING ACCORDING TO US

Stay on Target
Two Belgian beer fans have launched a video game named 'Place to pee', which allows players to slalom down ski slopes or kill aliens while relieving themselves at urinals. Now, they need only to perfect urinal tennis and the world will bow down to Belgian brilliance in the realm of urinal mastery.

Spiked
A newspaper photographer got a little too close to the action at the state high school track championships, and was speared through the leg by a javelin. Of course, Ryan McGeeney was spared serious injury, and even managed to snap a photo of his speared leg while others tended to him. We never tell you the about the ones where they die.

The Fix is In
An independent review of possible match fixing in professional tennis recommended that 45 matches played in the last five years be investigated because betting patterns gave a strong indication that gamblers were profiting from inside information. We're glad to say ESPNtheMag.com was not implicated. We just tank every match.

The Lady's Man, Soccer Style
A free guide to be distributed around Vienna to soccer fans visiting for Euro 2008 will advise them how to order Austrian cuisine, flirt with local women, and find their way to the stadium in the thick local dialect. Please translate: "Will you go to a Belgian urinal with me?"

More Angry Sumo's!
We've been all over this scandal. Anyway, yesterday a Russian sumo wrestler (who knew!?) threw a major hissy fit after his loss, trashing the fighters' communal bathroom. The Russian's stable manager said he had some rough patches to "iron out." This manager is currently under investigation for beating a junior wrestler with a bamboo stick. We love sumo!

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