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REPORTING FROM THE JOCK-OSPHERE:
12 PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE BLOGGING YESTERDAY

by Ryan Corazza and Evan Bartsch

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When he begins to blog, averaging 230 hits a year will seem paltry.


[Ed's Note: In the long view of the sports media industry, it's still a relatively new concept that athletes, agents, executives and yes, mascots, could circumvent us and tell their own stories…instantly, on blogs. We say, fantastic—but we're going to cover what they're writing. In this edition, we point out some foks that need to blogging, and right away.]


Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle Mariners
Forget Ichiro's cannon arm or insane plate discipline, the right fielder is a certifiable quote machine. On why he missed a foul ball:

"The ball became the same color as the sky. So, I wasn't able to see it … I was sending mental signals for the ball not to come my way, because during that time of day it's impossible for me to see the ball so I lacked mental signals. I lacked in that area. Usually, I don't send mental signals. So, because this is the first time, I thought, please don't come my way."

With quotes like this, perhaps Ichiro's blog wouldn't have anything to do with baseball. He is operating at a higher level. Teach us your Jedi mind tricks, Mr. Suzuki.

Delonte West, Cleveland Cavaliers
This seven-minute YouTube clip in which West talks about riding in a drop top Hummer butt naked with ankle socks on—among other outlandish topics—should be enough to seal the deal on him having a blog. But don't forget about his infamous Page 2 article from a few years back where he told us his dream date would be taking a woman on a yacht and wining and dining her with some Popeye's.

Maybe that's the trick: West blogs about the details of all his dates. Hopefully he doesn't forget the biscuits.

Charles Barkley, TNT Commentator,
He's not a role model, but how bout trying out blogging, Chuck? Brash outspokenness? Check. Humor? Check, check and check.

If Sir Charles doesn't give in, certainly someone could just set up a blog chronically the man's exploits. Or maybe just his quotes.

Jose Canseco, Retired Baseball Player, "Author"
Canseco is already a writer: watch out for his screenplay! So what's the hold up on the blog? Not only could he drop some more names of alleged steroid users, but his baseball instruction is top-notch.

You'd obviously have to pay for blog membership, though.

Shaquille O'Neal, Phoenix Suns
Shaq is a basketball player, an actor, a policeman, a musician, heck, he could probably set up a blog for each of his personas. And don't forget, he's also a hilarious quote.

Hopefully his fingers aren't too big to type.

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Just let it out, Floyd. In a blog!


Floyd Landis, Former Official 2006 Tour de France Champion
Whiskey, dehydration, and naturally-abnormal colossally high testosterone have all been defenses at one time or another for the disgraced former 2006 Tour de France winner. His capacity for creativity was not enough to save his Tour de France victory, however. But blogging isn't about truth, Floyd, it's more about…truthiness. It's not what you can prove, but what feels right. Channel your creativity by chronicling it.

Lenny Dykstra, Former Met and Philly Outfielder, Entrepreneur
Nails was one tough ball player back in his day. He wore his heart on his sleeve, his jersey over his muscled torso, and his mullet on the back of his neck. The man who once said he didn't read books for fear of hurting his batting eye has transformed into a stock trading, column writing guru. His spell check was designed by NASA, we were told.

Candace Parker, Los Angeles Sparks
Candace Parker's got game. She is the LeBron of the NBA. The Pujols of MLB. The Sidney Crosby of NHL. The Bob Barker of The Price Is Right. We need to hear from her. Parker's dunks, her J, her dunks, her court vision—the blogosphere beckons.

Ozzie Guillen, Chicago White Sox Manager
Why the (bleep) wouldn't Ozzie Guillen be a perfect fit for the blogosphere? He's vulgar, he's quick to lash out, he's already a whiz with e-mail; it seems only a natural progression, no? He's all the blogosphere's worst stereotypes rolled into one.

Lee Corso, Florida State "Sunshine Scooner", GameDay Commentator
Sure, he may be approaching Joe Pa vintage, but who's to say he wouldn't connect with the hip blog crowd? I'm nearly certain the faithful College GameDay fans would love to see the ol' ball coach blog about his experiences on the GameDay set. Personally, I'd love to see his 'Mascot Head Predictions' in a blog format.

Tim Tebow, Florida Gators
A National Championship, a Heisman Trophy? Kid's play. Tim Terrific is more of a renaissance man than imagination will allow, seeing as he helped circumcise impoverished children in the Philippines over his spring break.

"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries."

John Daly, PGA Member, Shitless Golfer
The amount of talent this man enjoys is borderline ridiculous, considering his training table meals consist of a cigarette, a Miller Lite, and a turducken.

As Daly himself says, "Don't underestimate the fat man."

Well fat man, tell us why. Overweight America needs someone new to follow now that Oprah is skinny.


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