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OPEN LETTER: ANGEL CABRERA

by Max Klinger

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Move over, I think I see Seve Ballesteros in the stands.

Angel Cabrera had a rough day yesterday at the U.S. Open (+ 8) and Tiger and Phil-bert are within striking distance of the lead, but there's something about El Pato's unpredictableness that still makes him our hands down favorite. So we did what we always do when we're frustrated with the outcome of a sport, we wrote a letter.


TO: ANGEL CABRERA

FROM: ESPNTHEMAG.COM



Dear Angelito,

Did you hear that joke about the Duck and the Tiger? No, just kidding there's not really a joke about a duck and a tiger. Not yet at least. But you've got an action-packed weekend of U.S. Open golf (your favorite kind) ahead of you and we're writing to let you know that you're our hands-down favorite to walk out of Torrey Pines with a shiny new cup under your arm. Okay,we know, after day one you're plus eight— tied for 126th. So, you got a slow start and didn't make a birdie untill the 13th hole. 7,643 yards is a lot of room for you to catch up and you've got the long-game to do it. Everyone's talking about Tiger/Phil, but we've gotta hope for something different. There are a couple reasons we like you and we're going to tell you what they are:

1) You walk like a duck. That's way cooler than wearing a red shirt on Sundays.

2) You won the Grandslam of Golf. Yeah, the money doesn't count towards your PGA tour purse, but you still beat three of the best in the world: Pádraig Harrington, Jim Furyk and Zach Johnson.

3) You remind us of Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack, but with a lot more self-respect and a lot less elbow flap.

4) You don't rely on swing coaches, statisticians, sports psychologists or Jamba Juice to play your game. In your own words: "Look, I'm never going to change or adjust my game." Get off my back, man! (Our add.)

5) Your idol is Seve Ballestros. We also really like the devil-may-care Spaniard.

6) Once, while caddying as a kid (you dropped out of elementary school to support yourself caddying) you threw a guy's clubs on the ground who was mistreating you and told him to carry them himself.

7) We've seen your cumbia and it puts Jason Taylor's mambo to shame.

8) We think you're seriously underrated. Some people say that last year's U.S. Open was a fluke and cite the fact that you've never won another PGA Tour event, but we know (and don't ask us why) that you simply like the European tour better.

Best of luck this weekend in San Diego. The course is supposed to be "stupid"-hard this year. We're not sweating it though, because no one thinks you have a chance, which is exactly when you become your most dangerous.

Buena Suerte,

ESPNthemag.com


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