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"This will look great on the mantle next to my Wizard of Oz commemorative plates!"

WHEN IT COMES TO U.S. OPENS, GOLF'S ON THE GREEN!

With the U.S. Open (of golf!) upon us—a weekend fascinating for the fact that if you were an alien watching the thing on TV, you'd assume that the athletic apparel and merchandising battle was a four-headed scrum between Nike, Titleist, Footjoy and McGregor —it seems only right to dive deeper into the issue of these "U.S. Opens". Did you know that Rubik's Cube has it's own U.S. Open? In fact, many other pursuits do. Thus, they deserve their day in the rankings. Forthwith, the U.S. Open hierarchy … according to us!

TOP 5
RANK (YESTERDAY)		WHAT	WHY
	1 (18)	U.S. OPEN (GOLF)	You can argue otherwise, but we think it belongs in the top spot. It routinely mixes in brilliant play with the twisted concept of routinely embarrassing the best golfers in the world—who keep coming back. The brutality of it all produces champions that range from best in the world, to the occasional no-name, an ice cube that somehow emerges safely from a blender.
	2 (58)	U.S. OPEN (TENNIS)	Not only does this feature night tennis, which is awesome, but it has the best crowds, and as the fourth tournament of the Grand Slam, the most (potentially) at stake. A lot of the "name" matches in recent years—such as Sampras' last granny, Roddick's breakthrough, the all-Williams final, Connors last great run—happened here. It's hurt by the lack of American potency in the men's draw, and the aging hard court ladies, like Venus, Lindsay and Serena, but it's pure spectacle.
	3 (11)	U.S. OPEN (LAMAR HUNT, SOCCER)	A surprise? Not if you're into history. This tourney goes back to 1914! It also bests others on the premise that it truly is an "open," with all divisions of soccer battling it out. MLS, a well-run, growing league with a better TV deal than hockey, will suffer the occasional humility of losing to a USL team, just like the top golfers or tennis pros face when they deal with the guy ranked #145 on the tee box or across the net. As soccer grows here, so too will the prestige. But third ain't bad.
	4 (13)	U.S. OPEN (BOWLING)	There must be hundreds of guys that can bowl at a high level, we used to think, because you need only be consistent, right? Thing is, the U.S. Open of bowling consistently shows that the top guys win, which to us, implies there is indeed a god-like class of stars. This helps validates a sport many consider a good birthday party diversion. Winners are consistently "name" guys, like Norm Duke, Pete Weber, Chris Barnes or Tommy Jones. You don't know "name" guys in bowling? Well, we weep for you.
	5 (91)	U.S. OPEN (9-BALL)	We like that there's some decent history here with men's and women's events both around since 1976, and that you pull down $50,000+ for winning the thing. We know Allison Fischer, and also appreciate the fact that some of these guys and gals pull down well over a hundred grand per, and can still roll into pool halls and hustle people. It's a beautiful mix.

HONORABLE MENTION
RANK (YESTERDAY)		WHAT	WHY
	6 (26)	U.S. OPEN (SNOWBOARDING)	When your top star (Shaun White) is in the same commercials (HP) as Jay-Z and Jerry Seinfeld, you're already big. But the fact that snowboarding has gone from X-Games to the Olympics in a short time says much. Oh, and Lindsay (pictured), she's a good draw too for the young male demo, as our TV brethren say.
	28 (106)	U.S. OPEN (WOMEN'S GOLF)	The sad state of American women's golf has sort of sucked the U.S. out of this one. In recent years you just assume foreign dominance, from Lorena Ochoa (Mexico), Annika Sorenstam (Sweden) or even Karrie Webb (Australia). What, four of the last six winners have been American? Our bad.

RISING AND FALLING
MOVEMENT		WHAT
		U.S. OPEN (CHESS) — Kasparov lost the election—surprise!—will he come play?!
		U.S. OPEN (CYCLING) — Good marketing. Start it a year after Lance retires.

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