THE WORLD'S GAME (ACCORDING TO US)

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Turkey goalkeeper Rustu Recber, or, as we now know him, Cinderella.

Even as the excitement builds and the stakes get higher, there is a certain sadness that surrounds the final games of Euro 2008. It's not just coping with the loss of our favorite team, it's the realization that soon we'll have to go back to our normal lives. Some England fans have warded off the post-tournament ennui (or non-tournament ennui, as it were) by creating a sticker book called Losers 2008 which shows players going back to their normal lives. Whether it fixing up the house, going fishing or walking the dog, we can all relate.

Inspired by Losers, we decided to come up with a few other sticker book ideas to lift our spirits and to occupy our time before World Cup 2010.

Not being very clever, though, the first thing we thought of was a French spinoff. In it Thierry Henry would jet to New York to kick the ball around with NBA stars; Franck Ribery would have nothing to do but hang out with Luca Toni in an empty stadium (He may be a hated Italian, but he seems equally bored); and a whole chapter would be dedicated to l'amore. Immediately after the game, when asked on television about his plans after the French debacle in Switzerland, astrology-loving French coach Raymond Domenech could only respond, "My future? The only plan I have is to marry Estelle" (his celebrity girlfriend). There'll be stickers of the players in their wedding attire, the wedding bells, the cake and the tabloid WAGs.

For a German sticker book (based on this recent compilation of real soccer quotes), we thought we'd go highbrow and present players and coaches in an academic setting, digging into the deep history of German philosophy. "After the game is before the game," legendary coach Sepp Herberger would lecture in a cartoon balloon. The young Lukas Podolski, a star pupil, would scratch his head and respond with his already classic nugget of wisdom: "Football is like chess, only without the dice." On the last page, Franz Beckenbauer would sum things up, "There is only one possibility: victory, defeat, or a draw."

We thought about doing a version about Chinese soccer next (We hear there's a big market over there), but then we read that soccer in China is dead!

So we turned back to Euro 2008 and a classic sticker book motif: the fairy tale. In this case, the tale is Cinderella, and the team is Turkey. They keep scoring in the 11th hour just like the fair damsel. We thought goalkeeper Rustu Recber could play the lead role. He sure looks like a character, maybe not the right kind, but he'll have to do. After all, he wasn't even supposed to be at the ball (play the game, get it?) and he became the surprise hero.

But wait, perhaps midnight is upon the Turks, and Michael Ballack is the evil stepmother, or the pumpkin or something …

Oh forget it. The game will be on any minute.

EXTRA TIME

• "Hey, Italians, create a distraction,. Then we'll make a break for it." Africans try illegal border crossing during Spain-Italy penalty shootout.


• Kenyan Rules Football: Score goal, get punched


• Stick 'em up, Pele.


• USA destroyed by Iraq. Don't worry. It was only a friendly.

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