NEEDLESS (BUT FUN!) NBA PROGNOSTICATION

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"Coach, Mag.Com says you'll get a ring soon!" "Awesome, I love that site. PFL is how I follow the election, ya know?"

Flash back to '03 for a second. Times were simpler, no? Beyonce and Jay-Z were a new thing, our boy Tim Robbins appeared in Mystic River and finally nabbed himself an Oscar and in June, the NBA held its annual draft. No big deal on that last part; thing happens every June. But oh: by 2006, the No. 5 pick was a champion (granted, with Shaq), by 2007 the No. 1 pick basically beat Detroit by himself to win the Eastern Conference, by 2008 the No. 4 pick was a dominant PF and the funniest player in the NBA…and Carmelo, well, that dude can score at least. Drafts can change everything, right? Maybe not so much.

Needless prognostication now: the Eastern and Western Conference Finals from 2009 through 2011, in the eyes of Mag.Com. This is constructed in a world without injury, trade, or knowledge of seedings, so it's a complete farce—but then again, isn't every mock draft? Oh, we will allow one trade: LeBron to the Nets in a couple of years. If you don't think that's gonna happen, you're nuts. Here goes nothing.

2009 Eastern Conference Finals: Celtics vs. Raptors
We'll go out on a limb here: Raptors stay healthy and while their backcourt scares no one, the threesome of Bosh, O'Neal and Bargnani (plus Colangelo's brain) drives them to new heights. Celtics stay focused.

2009 Western Conference Finals: Lakers vs. Spurs
Seems familiar, no? Spurs have two to three years left (Duncan doesn't play the type of game that will wear him down quickly). Kobe is too focused, and the other parts are good enough. Difference is, we see the Spurs winning this time (Manu may collapse from exhaustion at the end of this series, however).

2010 Eastern Conference Finals: Magic vs. Hawks
Ha! Here's the logic: Courtney Lee was a good pick for them. Dwight Howard will only become more of a monster. To think the Hawks can get this far in two years may be preposterous, but remember: they took the Cs to 7 games, they just re-inked their coach (stability), and their athleticism is ridiculous. Plus, the East is a joke.

2010 Western Conference Finals: Jazz vs. Hornets
Jazz are gonna break through again. Deron is incredible, Boozer is a numbers machine, and at some point AK-47 has to play up to his potential. Hornets have Chris Paul, will likely acquire some other pieces, and Byron Scott generally seems like he has a clue. Plus, Deron vs. Chris for the right to reach the Finals = great fodder for awful column in local newspaper about draft evaluation.

2011 Eastern Conference Finals: Heat vs. Bulls
Ah ha! Here we go. Heat take a while to get settled—what's up with Marion and Beasley? Who's the 5?—but eventually, those answers come together. By this point, Hinrich is halfway back to Iowa, D-Rose is capably leading the team, and Sonny Weems is just playing out of his gourd. Wait, what? (Only thing that blows this out of the water is "The Jay Effect" in Brooklyn—if S.Carter makes that his primary business venture, does every NBA player suddenly want to become a Net? We think so.)

2011 Western Conference Finals: Blazers vs. Jazz
We love the Blazers. Love, love, love. Oden, Aldridge and Roy? Now Bayless too? If they get a legit PG, they might be the new Spurs. Jazz are awesome, too. Deron = bull in a china shop. Sloan will finally get a ring with one of those teams.

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