A DAY WITHOUT (AMERICAN) SPORTS:
AN EXPLANATION

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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field, frozen with snow.

Since today is officially the slowest day in American sports, we should at least be fair and add a disclaimer for this year.

There was sports action today. Technically. Thanks to 15 innings of All-Star game last night, one "important" game in a major sport was played today. Hell, any time Joe Buck can make a dramatic call on a sacrifice fly, and Tito Francona turns to hug somebody and a pitcher walks off the mound has it really been a slow day?

Well, yes. Starting when that game ended, not a single major American or college sport has anything going on today. Seriously.

Today tops all. With every All Star player unavailable to their team (and even the 40/40 Club after that late finish) today, MLB games don't begin again until tomorrow.

The NFL? If Brett Favre wasn't causing cheesehead fevers (that sounds gross) there'd be nothing to speak of in in Roger's league. Where's a good Michael Irvin off-season party when you need it?

College football? Jim Tressel showed up on SportsCenter yesterday to talk … but then started selling a book. Ugh. The Winners Manual: For the Game of Life. Only $16.49! The SEC section will come in a sequel, we assume.

Hockey? The fact that Barry Melrose isn't involved in some kind in- or off-season reality show is a crime—in fact, ESPN should have pushed him back into coaching just to buy the rights to follow him around. Versus couldn't touch that with in-game ratings. Alas, this isn't in production, and a fat deal for Vinny Lecavalier is the only news this week.

The NBA offers nothing that doesn't involve late night calls between referees. Well, there's also a little bit of summer league, which, if you're reading this and don't work somewhere where it's mandated that you have a TV at your desk, you probably can't watch. The best thing about summer league is that TrueHoop can write over 20,000 words on it in a week and it feels totally natural.

NASCAR? Wednesday is hangover/testing day in NASCAR. It's a cool concept. You can just drive off the track and then straight over to a Waffle House. But unless you have Speed (it's a network, not a drug … Well, it is a drug…) you can't watch it.

Soccer? It's transfer season, and that's just really a fight between the Real Housewives of Europe over who has enough cash to buy a bigger house on the gated culdesac. AC Milan made a move yesterday which will further annoy Brazil. Any games? Meh.

Golf? It's the British Open …and it starts tomorrow …and Sergio Garcia is the favorite …and Tiger Woods is still in his thirties and can win a tournament on one leg, which means he clearly can't even walk right now. So, would you rather watch the British, or just wonder what Steve Williams is doing right now? (Drinking? Karate?)

Tennis? Well, Rafa got an asteroid. We're holding out for a pulsar.

Did we miss anything? Bass fishing? Curling? WNBA? Well, they're at least going to play an outdoor game this weekend.

Maybe we're overstating it, though. We mean, Tim McCarver called a game today, technically. Can you really call that a slow day?

Yes. Yes you can.

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