THE SHOW CARS ARE OUT OF CONTROL

A friend of Ryan McGee

Ryan and daughter in front of a show car.

Before we go any further, please let me file this disclaimer:

I love racing. I really do. I have since I was a kid and it has paid my bills for the better part of two decades. But when I get the chance, I do like to get away from racecars. Go see some baseball. Take a short vacation. Take on a non-NASCAR writing assignment.

But there's a problem.

The show cars are out of control, y'all.

For the uninitiated, let me explain what a show car is. It's a full-scale, very loud, very accurate representation of the same racecars we see on the track each weekend. It was built on the same assembly line, comes with the same engine and some even enjoyed a previous life as a real-life competitive car.

But now it is just a show piece, something for fans to ooh and ahh over and have their pictures taken in front of.

While its cousins hit the high banks at Daytona, the show car sits in a Burger King parking lot across the street. While the real racecars ride in tricked-out 18-wheelers not unlike Lightning McQueen's big rig in Cars, the show cars ride in low-deck trailers that you could rent at U-Haul.

Back in the day, race teams began show car programs to hype the upcoming race or give their sponsor a little extra oomph during race week.

Now every race team makes sure to include aggressive show car packages within their sponsor contracts. It's a small but highly visible piece of the gigantic asking price of $15-20 million that NASCAR owners are now asking corporations to cough up. They call it "sponsorship activation", added exposure above and beyond the call of duty, and in these days of slugging it out over corporate cash, teams have escalated their show car programs to invasion-ready fleets of pseudo-racecars.

Richard Childress Racing alone has more than 2,000 show car appearances on the books this season. You can choose from eleven different models covering Cup and Nationwide. Some are in-car race simulators and can even be hooked up to one another to recreate side-by-side racing. Others just sit there and look shiny.

RCR's most popular model right now is Jeff Burton's #31 AT&T Summer Olympics Chevy. Between July 18th and the end of August that particular Impala will do more than 25 appearances, from AT&T store parking lots to the Red Sox-Angels game in Anaheim. Over that time it will visit nine states, and such decidedly non-NASCAR towns such as Seminole, OK; Horseheads, NY; and Federal Way, WA.

"We can't be all places at once," says team owner Richard Childress. "But with the show car program we come pretty close."

For fans who will never make it out to the track, this is great news. But for a NASCAR writer trying to take a break from the longest schedule in professional sports, it's like being Shia LaBeouf as he was chased by the Decepticons in Transformers.

In March, I travelled to Tampa to interview Yankees owner Hank Steinbrenner. Sitting in ballpark parking lot was the number 99 Office Depot Ford of Carl Edwards.

In April, I went to New York for the Sports Emmys…and sitting in Columbus Circle was the number 18 M&M's Toyota Camry of Kyle Busch.

In May, I took a trip to Camden Yards with my father to see the Red Sox and Orioles. As we jumped on the escalator to head to the upper deck, we were greeted by the number 8 Steak-Ummm Burgers Chevy driven by Mark Martin in the Nationwide Series.

In June, I covered the College World Series in Omaha, and when I arrived at my hotel there sat the number 17 Arby's Ford of Matt Kenseth.

And during July 4th weekend, I took my three-year old daughter to see the Class AAA Charlotte Knights and rehabbing White Sox first baseman Paul Konerko.

"Look, Daddy!" She screamed in delight. "A racecar!"

"Excuse me sir," the nice kid asked. "Do you want to have your picture taken with Juan Pablo Montoya's Texaco Havoline Dodge? It's free." By the time we got home that night, the photo was waiting for us at the team's website. My daughter was very excited.

Me? Okay, I admit it…that was pretty cool.

So as this, the final off weekend of the 2008 Sprint Cup season has arrived, I have promised my wife that we will stay right here in Charlotte and as far away from racecars—and show cars—as possible.

Just a nice romantic dinner for two…

At the Speedway Club.

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