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THE SPORTING EQUIVALENCY: MILEY CYRUS

8/5/2008
Sure, but does Randy Foye jam with Fergie? Naw. Well, maybe. Getty Images

On a car trip this weekend, one of our staffers heard the (relatively) new song "Shake It" by Metro Station. His friend remarks to him, "You know the lead singer of this band is Miley Cyrus' brother?" A cursory Wikipedia search revealed that yes, Trace Cyrus is the half-brother of the teen queen, and Billy Ray has adopted him. Two things spring to mind: how is it that the guy who sang Achy Breaky Heart has two bankable children? AND, just how huge can Miley Cyrus get? She was all over the Teen Choice Awards last night, has a big movie dropping next May, is a YouTube sensation, and—scary part here—her songs are actually pretty decent. We're dedicating Sporting Equivalency to her.

Miley Cyrus' MLB Equivalent: David Price

The top pick in the 2007 MLB Draft, Price was promoted to the DRay's AA club on June 22nd of this summer. He's tearing it up there, and according to this recent profile, he could be in the majors before long. Bear in mind: Tampa Bay is looking legitimately good and if they add another top-flight pitcher, they could contend in the AL East for a few years (that's almost as remarkable as Billy Ray's two kids). Although huge teen acts tend to fade—think Brittney—Miley appears strong. A huge bonus for her: Disney is behind her. They're behind us, too!

Miley Cyrus' NBA Equivalent: Randy Foye

Conventional wisdom says a bigger young name, but bear with us. Foye coulda busted out this year; injuries limited him. If you check his stats for the latter part of the season, they're comparable to Brandon Roy, a guy The Magazine made a candidate for NEXT. With Kevin Love helping Al Jefferson on the low block, that should free up Foye for some nice outside looks. His numbers—and profile—will only rise. Even though it seems Miley is already "there," her profile will continue to rise as well. Consider: the new movie. Consider also: at some point she's going to have a celeb romance, right? (Let the girl be a teenager!) That'll only splash her face in more places.

Miley Cyrus' NFL Equivalent: A.J. Hawk

Main reason we picked this: even with all the Favre stuff, we think Hawk is going to blow up even more (he had 105 tackles last season) in his third year. Secondary, amusing reason: odd family ties in both cases. Miley's dad is well-documented. Hawk is married to Brady Quinn's sister (awkward), who is also the second cousin of Zachary Ty Bryan from Home Improvement (odd).

Miley Cyrus' Olympic Equivalent: Jake Deitchler

We've got a video with Jake. He's 18 and might win an Olympic gold medal. He told us in our office that a certain US gymnast had caught his eye, and he might approach her at the Olympic Village for a date back in the states. We doubt he'd pass up Miley's digits, though. Especially if he heard "7 Things." Song's addictive!

For more Sporting Equivalencies, CLICK HERE