THE MORNING ACCORDING TO US

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NBC: "Yes, like Keith Olbermann's heart, our fireworks are merely a cinematic effect."

You know it's the Olympics when you turn on the TV, see rhythmic gymnastics is taking place, and think to yourself, "Suddenly, this seems interesting." For us, we know it's just another day, but we hope you'll run into a story about a guy who sat in a room with a temperature of 230 degrees Fahrenheit for an inconcievable amount of time and say it again. Yes, "Suddenly, this seems interesting." It's the Olympics daily here at MATU.

Digital Ceremonies
NBC is responding to accusations that they manipulated the opening ceremonies with what were essentially "fake fireworks" with the public relations equivalent of "our bad." NBC says they acknowledged the fakery, as Bob Costas had thrown in that some things you were seeing were a "cinematic device." Is that good enough? We're sort of mixed. It feels like NBC is complicit with something of a visual scam, but we're mostly just hoping Michael Phelps isn't related to Shrek. If the dude is CGI, these Olympics are officially a bust.

Sick of the Rich
The locals along the Italian Riviera have had it with the billionaire Russians, in particular one billionaire Russian, Roman Abramovich, the friend of Vladimir Putin and owner of Chelsea's football club. He's a very ostentatious man, perhaps part of a clique that burns 500-euro notes for sport. A few nights back Abramovich docked his yacht at Forte del Marmi along the Tuscan coast and went to a fashionable restaurant. (This despite the fact that his yacht has five cooks and a wait staff of 45.) The restaurant refused to seat him. Abramovich stormed off for the next village. Said La Stampa, the daily newspaper in Turin, "From north to south, a rebellion is growing against those who show off their money and power." A brave stand but perhaps not a wise one: From whom do these resort towns make their money?

Standing the Heat
We've never understood the appeal of saunas--you want to sit and sweat, in the buff, with flabby old men? But even we admire what one Finn just accomplished. Twenty-three countries participated in the Sauna World Championships. The rules were simple: Sit in a room that's 230 degrees Fahrenheit for as long as you can. Bjarne Hermansson is your winner, lasting 18 minutes in there. He says, "It wasn't fun after two or three minutes." No, nothing is when it's 230 degrees.

We're Under the Spell
It's gratuitous and borderline annoying, but when some person spends hours clipping just the right amount of Michael Phelps photos onto a video template with "Eye of the Tiger" in the background, we're also taken with it for about 38 seconds. See how long you can last!

Coming Home
The big surprise wasn't that a team of Sierra Leone soccer players won the silver at an international soccer tournament in Sweden. The big surprise was that the whole team returned to Sierra Leone. Most of the time, soccer stars from impoverished African countries travel to a tournament abroad and stay there. But the Sierra Leone team, many of them children of the country's Civil and many of them therefore parent-less, have come back, they say, to shape the future of their country.

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