PRESIDENTIAL FANTASY LEAGUE: WEEK SIXTEEN SCORES

by Max Klinger

Where the avenues of sports and politics meet, there is a mailbox where we deposit a weekly letter; a mailbox called the Presidential Fantasy League (see every PFL ever right here).

With the world's athletes taking center stage this week in Beijing, and the conventions still a couple weeks away, our candidates have had to relinquish the spotlight for a while. Well, at least Obama has (while he's on vacation in Hawaii, McCain has tried to keep up the pace). But the Games can prove to be fertile ground for campaigning too. If it's not the eerily similar iconography (windmills!) in the McCain and Obama political ads being piped to us via NBC, it's the images of LeBron and Jerry Colangelo subconsciously reminding us who they've endorsed (See below if you don't know).

Completely unrelated, but pertinent: Did you know that 5 million students graduate college in China every year. In 2007 the U.S. had only 1.5 million college grads. Even more embarrassing? Daughtry is performing at both the G.O.P. and Democratic conventions.

On to The (P.F.L.) Games.

TEAM OBAMA: "Let me try the guava-orange." —B.O.

POLITCAL METAPHOR OF THE WEEK: +10
Obama's change of position on offshore drilling is compared to his "pretty good head fake" on the basketball court.

IMPOLITE GREETING OF THE WEEK: +10
Obama endorser LeBron James playfully calls George W. Bush "Pops" during a USA Basketball warm-up. The president commands that much respect. (By the way, a Wheaties cover for LeBron could fetch a treasure chest of PFL points.)

SPORTSMEN FOR OBAMA? +10
McCain still has the backing of the majority of "sportsmen" but a recent poll of hunters and fishermen show that Obama only trails by 14 % points, 27 points better than what Kerry trailed Bush by in 2004.

TOTAL SCORE THIS WEEK: +30

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TEAM McCAIN: "That wrinkly, white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad. Which I guess means I am running for President—so thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude" — Paris Hilton

THE THUNDERINGEST HERD: + 10
Johnny boy visits theJoan C. Edwards stadium at Marshall University for a private chat with football players and coaches. Matthew McConaughey was not invited.

COLANGELO GETS SOME FACE TIME: +10
As we watch the Olympics, lets not forget that USA Basketball managing director Jerry Colangelo is on the Arizona finance committee for McCain's campaign. The Gleam Team has looked strong so far and Jerry hasn't suffered from a lack of screen time as a result. He even sat next to Bush Sr. and W. during the opening game against China. Henry Kissinger was asleep in the row behind them, dreaming un-bombed sovereign nations.

EXPENDITURE OF THE WEEK: +10
Though Obama has ponied up $ 5 million for political ads during Olympic coverage, McCain has one-upped him by spending $ 6 million.

TOTAL SCORE THIS WEEK: +30

SCORES AFTER WEEK SIXTEEN
1. Team Obama: 650
2. Team McCain: 575

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Got an issue with the way we're sizing up the candidates? Something we missed? Got an idea for the rules? Send us your thoughts: editor.espnmag@gmail.com

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