THE MAGAZINE EDITOR'S BLOG:
WHAT'S DEPP DOING CHEERING FOR THE CARDINALS?

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"My character in Chocolat was modeled after Kurt Warner."

About the only thing more surprising than watching the Arizona Cardinals dominate (well, kind of) their way to a 2-0 record and the top spot in the NFC West is seeing Johnny Depp at the game. In Phoenix. Seriously. I tried to figure out why he would possibly be there, and it's a conundrum. I don't think he was in town to promote a film, given that he didn't show up in the broadcast booth and the FOX announcers seemed as surprised as I was to see Depp in the stands. I guess he could be a Dolphins fan, although you'd have to be a pretty serious one to travel for a road game. To Arizona. For this particular Fish team. And I suppose he could be a Cardinals fan, but that's just … Crazy! Who in their right mind would be a Cardinals fan, except people from Phoenix (silly dopes) and people who were 13 years old when Jim Hart was leading the second-best offense of the early to mid-1970s (really silly dopes) in St. Louis? So here's what I'm thinking: Johnny Depp is pursuing a graduate degree of some sort, and he got confused and thought he could register for classes at University of Phoenix Stadium. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

Now on to my list of THE 27 BEST SPORTS IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, ACCORDING TO ME. It's a lulu of a ranking, although much less interesting than another list I like: MOST COMMON U.S. CITY NAMES (Top 5: Franklin, Salem, Washington, Springfield, Clinton). Anyway, here's this week's update, for Edward Scissorhands:

THE 27 BEST SPORTS IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, ACCORDING TO ME:

1. NFL¹
2. College football (BCS)
3. Golf (Ryder Cup)²
4. MLB (National League)
5. High school football (Ohio)
6. MotoGP³
7. NASCAR (Çraftsman Truck)
8. NASCAR (Sprint Cup)
9. MLB (American League)⁴
10. Soccer
11. Tennis (women's)
12. NHL
13. NBA
14. Goalball⁵
15. Touch football
16. Minor league baseball (Double A)
17. Mixed Martial Arts
18. Tennis (men's)
19. Gallery rifle shooting⁶
20. Golf (LPGA)
21. Wheelchair Tae Kwan Do
22. Boxing
23. Tennis (men's)
24. Surfing
25. Yoga⁷
26. Bowling
27. WNBA

1. The Cardinals are alone at the top of the NFC West. The Arizona Cardinals. I'm a'tingle.

2. There is no need for golf in the Olympics for a whole bunch of reasons, and the Ryder Cup is the first.

3. Like I said, it's not really complicated: Visit me at work, get your sport on my list. Valentino Rossi was in my office last week. Great guy. Seven-time world champ. Very funny.

4. You think the Rays are gonna start to crumble, and they might, but you gotta admire their pluck.

5. It's a game for the blind that, well, YouTube it and watch. It's kind of amazing.

6. Because guns don't kill people—people who don't use guns solely for sport kill people.

7. Yoga cures all. Yoga and Gold Bond Medicated Powder.

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